Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes in many countries,peoples are now living longer than before.

On the other hand the peoples who live long life they creating problems for government. Because the people who live longer their ages are so huge.

Their capability of work is so weak and they do no do any work without any help.

So these peoples are so week any their body don't help them and some peope always wants to take a rest on bed and they always need a person who help them.

Some peoples say these peoples are benefits for society more than elderly peoples because these people can live their life in his enviournment and they knows who to live the life in society and who to run the socitey.

But in today society we don't see these persons.

These peoples run the society better than the others

These peoples have more experience than others and their is any problem in society so these people easily solve these type of problem.

But according to the government these peoples have increase the population.

They wants to remove these peoples in our society.But they don't know these play an important role in our society.

But some old peoples do not run the society and they don't care his health and they need help of others peoples.

But according to me these peoples are provide very benifite to our society than other peoples so these peoples like backbone of our society and we need to care these peoples and give respect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question: you mention the support needs and reduced ability to work of some older people, then point to their experience and ability to help solve social problems. Your final view—that their contribution outweighs the disadvantages—is also present. However, the position is not consistently clear: the sentence “Some peoples say these peoples are benefits for society more than elderly peoples” confuses the groups being compared, and the discussion of government concerns is brief and unclear. Ideas such as older people’s experience are asserted rather than supported with a specific example or explanation. Develop both the disadvantages and advantages more fully, and make your comparison explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic overall shape, moving from disadvantages to benefits and ending with your opinion. Paragraph breaks also separate some of these points. However, progression within and between paragraphs is difficult to follow. Repeated openings such as “But according to…” and “These peoples…” do not clearly show how each point connects, while “On the other hand” introduces a point that is not clearly contrasted with the opening. Several ideas are repeated, including that older people need help and that they benefit society. Organise the essay into a clear introduction, one paragraph for disadvantages, one for advantages, and a conclusion; use references and linking phrases that make the relationships between ideas precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “capability of work,” “experience,” “population,” and “backbone of our society,” to discuss the topic. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “these peoples” and “society.” Some word choices make the meaning unclear, as in “their ages are so huge” and “they are benefits for society.” Spelling errors such as “enviournment,” “socitey,” and “benifite” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise terms for older people and their contributions, and check spelling and collocations. For example, describe their “valuable experience” or “contribution to community life” rather than relying on broad, repeated wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors, but most structures are simple, and errors frequently affect clarity. For example, “the peoples who live long life they creating problems” has an incomplete verb construction, while “they do no do any work” contains an incorrect verb form. Agreement and pronoun patterns are also inconsistent in “they knows” and “his health,” and several sentences join clauses without clear punctuation. These problems make it harder to follow who is doing what. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, complete verb phrases, and consistent pronouns, then build longer sentences using controlled clauses such as “Although some older people need support, many can contribute through their experience.”

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