Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, people are surviving longer than their usual life expectancy. While many people think this as a positive vibe for the society but there are others who have a different view on this. They think this might need extra attention of the governments.

In my point of view, the environment of the world has changed drastically within the few decades and the pollution has reached its peak. So, if someone can live a longer life fighting these extensive pollution it should be a blessing for the society not burden.

In one hand, the average life expectancy of people nowadays is very poor compared to our ancestors. Although facing so difficulties and harsh environment some countries are being still able to increase their citizens life period. This brings a lot of positive advantage for their society. For example, as people are living longer they can provide more working days for their country. As a result, the country could thrive in all the sectors and become economically stable. In addition, those people that served a long time for their country could share their valuable experiences to younger people and make them prepare for the upcoming life.

On the other hand, although the elderly persons provide great service to the society, they require extra care at that period of life. This becomes extra hassle for governments as they have to provide health care professionals for their overall wellbeing. Not only this, sometimes government need to establish housing and financial schemes for elderly person in order to support them. But as i mentionded earlier this is the least we can do for their lifetime services that they have provided.

In conclusion, as everone will become old eventually, we should not ignore the elderly people rather embrace them as blessings and make necessary arrangements for them. So, they can live the rest of their life peacefully.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you regard longer lives as a benefit and argue that the care required is a reasonable return for older people’s service. You address both sides, identifying continued work and the transfer of experience as advantages, and healthcare, housing and financial support as costs. These are relevant points, but some are not fully explained. For instance, the claim that older people can provide “more working days” and help a country thrive is broad; clarify which roles they can continue in and how this benefits society. The discussion of government costs is also listed rather than weighed against the benefits. Develop that comparison more explicitly to make your answer to “to what extent” more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to benefits, disadvantages and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the main points, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the argument apparent. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “In one hand” does not correctly introduce a contrast, and the opening paragraph’s “While … but” construction makes the relationship between the two views awkward. The pollution point in the second paragraph is not clearly connected to the task’s central comparison. Use transitions that express the precise relationship between ideas, and link each paragraph’s examples back to whether the advantages outweigh the costs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “economically stable,” “valuable experiences,” and “financial schemes,” which helps communicate the topic. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “overall wellbeing.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “positive vibe,” “extra hassle,” “life period,” and “extensive pollution.” Spelling errors such as “mentionded” and “everone” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main ideas, but they limit precision and naturalness. Prefer established topic collocations—for example, “increased life expectancy,” “additional pressure on public services,” and “share their expertise”—and check spelling during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although,” “as,” and “in order to,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. In “While many people think this as a positive vibe … but,” the clause structure is faulty; use either “While …, others …” or “Many people think …, but others …”. There are also errors in agreement and articles, as in “government need” and “for elderly person,” and the phrase “people’s citizens life period” would require a clearer possessive structure. The sentence beginning “Although facing so difficulties” is also incomplete or awkwardly formed. Review clause construction, subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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