Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

People have become very health-conscious; therefore, they are now living longer than ever before. As a result, the aging population is growing, and the public has different views on it. Some argue that they are challenging for governments; however, others think that they are beneficial for societies. This essay will discuss both views before my opinion.

The benefits of having elderly people are that they are very helpful for families in looking after their many responsibilities. For instance, they look after their grandchildren and assist in their development. Secondly, they are wiser and more experienced than the young ones, so they always provide a good piece of advice. Furthermore, in many disagreements, they negotiate honestly and make decisions. They are basically the source of harmony in societies and families because they solve disputes and force people to keep good relations with each other.

Despite some of the advantages, the drawbacks of this situation are greater. Aged people often receive pensions from the government for their living. Consequently, they put a huge burden on the country's economy. Authorities have to allocate a significant amount to provide pensions in old age. Moreover, they also put a substantial burden on the healthcare system because they often become sick. If the country has a larger aging population, it will challenge the nation's workforce and affect the national economy. The working individuals are fewer, so there will be less chance of innovation. To illustrate, the UK and Japan have to allocate many pensions to their elderly residents.

In my opinion, elderly people play a major role in harmony and assistance to families, but their high proportions have adverse effects on the country's welfare and economic growth. Therefore, the disadvantages of having an aging population outweigh its advantages.

In conclusion, although older individuals benefit in many ways, they create many problems for public services. Their higher percentages put national welfare, growth, and innovation at risk.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The examples of grandparents supporting families and older people advising younger generations are relevant, while pensions, healthcare costs and a smaller workforce support your opposing case. This meets the task well, but the ideas are not equally developed. The benefits are listed more than explained, and claims such as older people being “the source of harmony” are broad and would benefit from a specific example or qualification. The economic argument is more developed, though the UK and Japan example is asserted rather than supported with detail. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how each point affects society and compare the scale of the benefits and costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall progression: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Secondly,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument, and the contrast between the two main body paragraphs is easy to understand. The organisation is effective, although some transitions feel formulaic, and the benefits paragraph moves through several claims without showing how they connect. The phrase “This essay will discuss both views before my opinion” also does not accurately describe the structure, since your opinion is stated at the end. Use more precise transitions between related ideas and make the introduction’s roadmap match the essay’s actual organisation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “allocate,” “substantial burden,” “workforce,” “innovation,” and “economic growth.” These choices help communicate the main arguments, and the meaning remains clear throughout. However, some expressions are imprecise or do not collocate naturally, such as “a good piece of advice,” “higher percentages,” and “allocate many pensions.” Repetition of “burden,” “elderly,” and “aging population” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise topic vocabulary and check how words combine: for example, governments pay or fund pensions, while the proportion of older people rises. More accurate collocations and a wider range of natural paraphrases would make the argument sound more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex structures, including cause-and-effect clauses (“so they always provide…”) and contrast clauses (“although older individuals benefit…”). Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, and punctuation generally supports the organisation. Some grammatical choices are less controlled, however. In “This essay will discuss both views before my opinion,” the structure is incomplete or awkward; a clearer form would be “before presenting my opinion.” In “If the country has a larger aging population, it will challenge the nation's workforce,” the pronoun “it” has an unclear reference. There is also a mismatch in “the working individuals are fewer,” where a more natural comparative structure is needed. Continue using complex sentences, while checking clause structure, reference, and comparative forms.

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