Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In several nations, citizens are now living longer than ever before. A section of society believes that older people create issues for the states. Others say that there are positive benefits if society has older people. One of the main advantages is older individuals can build a good society by giving their real experience advice. One of the major disadvantages is that the goverment have to pay money after their retirement. I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, every older citizen takes financial security from the goverment. Governments have to pay pension after their retirements. The individuals take old allowence from the government. Moreover, every nations give financial security to their older citizens. For example, every year Bangladesh governments allocated 18% money from yearly budget. As a result, it takes a lot amount of money which is a big expense for the state.

On the other hand, older people have experience and they can help the society by giving their advice. Sometimes community faces different issues which is very crucial to prevent at any cost. The older people can mitigate the threat. For instance, every pendamic elder people helps the society giving their sermon, how can keep the distance from the illness. As a result, it can help to diminish the death rates.

In conclusion, although governments have to pay the older people a lot amount of money for their financial securities, I think that elder people help the society by giving their valuable advice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall position in the introduction—“the advantages outweigh the disadvantages”—and address both sides of the question. The pension costs are relevant, and the example about Bangladesh’s budget attempts to support this point. However, the advantages are mainly reduced to older people offering advice, and this idea is not developed enough to show convincingly why it outweighs the financial burden. The pandemic example is also difficult to follow and does not explain clearly how older people’s advice reduced deaths. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits in more detail, such as how older people pass on skills or support families, and make the comparison between these benefits and government costs explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between the two sides. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and several linking phrases repeat or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. For example, “As a result” appears after both examples, but the connection between the pandemic advice and lower death rates is not explained. Some references are also unclear, such as “it takes a lot amount of money.” Improve cohesion by linking each example directly to the claim it supports and using clearer references instead of repeating broad phrases such as “older people” and “the society.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “financial security,” “pension,” “mitigate,” and “death rates.” However, the range is limited, and several noticeable word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “old allowence,” “pendamic,” “giving their sermon,” and “a lot amount of money.” “Real experience advice” is also an unnatural phrase for the intended meaning. Aim to use precise topic vocabulary and check spelling and common word combinations. For instance, “pension payments,” “valuable advice based on experience,” and “reduce mortality rates” would express your ideas more naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “issues which is very crucial to prevent” and a conditional-style question in the pandemic example. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to follow. For example, “Governments have to pay pension after their retirements” has problems with articles and number, while “every nations give” and “the government have to pay” show subject–verb agreement errors. The sentence beginning “Sometimes community faces” also needs clearer grammatical construction. Practise accurate agreement, articles, and plural forms, then build longer sentences around one clear main clause. This will help you express the relationships between your ideas more reliably.

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