Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent years, many countries some people living longer than ever before . Whereas , some of them belive that aging population create problems for governments , although both perspectives have there merits and demerits .
The primary reason why some people argue that living older creates problems for society and governments , this is beacause much they get olders much the problems increase and they need special treatments to avoid accidents.
On the other hand , other thinks ther are advantages if society has more elderly people . Since they have main reason for help the next generation and share their experiences with community . Morever , some older grandparents as an example they such a big knowledgement about old life and different way to solve some problems in instance grandma had such amazing naturel solutions for diseases.
In conslusion, whle some people support that an agng population create problems and difficults for cummunity and governments , other prefer there are some merits for society has more elderly people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You address both sides of the topic: the need for special treatment and accident prevention is mentioned as a disadvantage, while older people’s support for younger generations and life experience are presented as benefits. However, the response does not clearly answer the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages; the conclusion merely repeats that both views exist. The ideas are also very briefly explained, and the example about a grandmother’s “natural solutions for diseases” is unclear and not developed. The response is 170 words, so it does not meet the required 250-word minimum. To improve, state your position directly, explain each main point with specific reasoning or examples, and develop the comparison between benefits and costs.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response has a basic essay shape, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two perspectives, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the broad direction of the argument. However, there is little progression within the paragraphs: points are introduced but not clearly linked or expanded. Some linking is inaccurate or awkward, as in “Whereas” at the start of the introduction and “Since” beginning a fragment. The conclusion repeats the two positions rather than bringing the argument to a clear resolution. Organise each body paragraph around one main idea, then explain and illustrate it, using linking phrases only where they show a genuine relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “governments,” “generation,” and “experiences,” and the reader can generally identify the subject of the essay. However, the range is limited, and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make parts difficult to understand. For example, “living older” does not express the idea of living longer, “knowledgement” is not the appropriate noun, and “difficults” is unclear. “Natural solutions for diseases” also sounds imprecise in this context. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing ageing, such as healthcare needs, pension costs, caregiving, and intergenerational knowledge, and check spelling and word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt some longer sentence forms, including a contrast with “Whereas” and a reason introduced by “Since,” but these attempts are often incomplete or difficult to follow. For instance, “Whereas, some of them…” is not joined to a complete main clause, and “Since they have main reason for help the next generation” is a sentence fragment with an unclear verb pattern. There are also recurring problems with agreement and sentence construction, as in “aging population create problems” and “other thinks.” Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, and commas sometimes separate parts that should form a complete sentence. Practise writing clear subject–verb sentences first, then combine them with accurate subordinate clauses.
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