Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Living expectency has been increasing in many countries. It is often argued that people now live longer which creates challanges for governments because aging population may decrease productivity as well as may become pressure on state's fund. While others believe that aged people provide several advantages because they are experienced. I believe that elderly people can be really an asset for societies if they are truely valued.

On the one hand, people aged over 60 can be the reason for reducing productivity. The people in this age become physically so fragile and weak, thus, it becomes difficult for them to work faster in their workplaces. As employees are the main factor of any company's improvement, similarly these factories contribute to the country's economic development.As a result, slow efficiency of the aged people may reduce productivity of their company which indirectly hampers economy. Furthermore, government has to provide pensions to elderly people. Therefore, if the number of elderly people increased, the state need to spend more money in pensions which may create pressure on the public fund.

However, there are a number of benefits that can be provided by the aging population. Firstly, they have many years of experience. They know how to tackle a difficult situation and how to survive in critical conditions. If society has more elderly people, they can guide the young people which will help them in their practical life. Secondly, working parents can be greatly benefitted as their elders can look after their children. In addition, in the workplaces, a fresher can be trained by an aged people. They can teach them all the necessary knowledge regarding their work.

In conclusion, although aging population may create pressure on government, they offer many benefits to society or even workplaces. I strongly believe that, the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: elderly people can be an asset, and their advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of reduced productivity and pension costs is relevant, as are the examples of older people guiding younger people, caring for children and training new employees. However, some points are asserted more than explained. For instance, the claim that older workers reduce productivity relies on physical weakness and slower work, without acknowledging that this may not apply to all jobs or individuals. The benefits are also listed rather than developed with specific examples. To strengthen the response, explain how these contributions benefit society and weigh them more explicitly against government costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, a paragraph presenting benefits, and a conclusion that restates your view. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “However,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. Within paragraphs, ideas generally progress in a sensible order, including the link from pensions to pressure on public funds. Some connections are less clear or mechanical, however. The sentence beginning “As employees are the main factor…” shifts to factories and economic development without making the relationship precise, and “similarly” does not clearly connect the two points. Use more direct links between claims and consequences, and make references such as “they” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “productivity,” “economic development,” “public fund,” “critical conditions,” and “practical life.” These choices allow you to discuss both economic costs and social contributions. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, and some combinations are unnatural or imprecise: “Living expectency,” “state's fund,” “slow efficiency,” and “an aged people” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There is also repetition of “elderly people” and “aged people.” Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations, such as “life expectancy,” “public finances,” and “older workers.” More precise vocabulary would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses (“If society has more elderly people…”) and cause-and-effect structures (“Therefore…” and “As a result…”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the state need to spend” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “if the number of elderly people increased” does not maintain a consistent verb form for the intended general situation. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “because aging population” and the missing space after the full stop in “development.As a result.” Review agreement, articles and punctuation, and proofread longer sentences to ensure their clauses connect accurately.

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