Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There has been a huge debet in many countries people believe that nowaday the age limit for living is increased compared with the older days,whereas others think aged population creates burden for the government and few believe that there are benefits if elder people are present in society. Although older population has certain disadvantages, I believe that its advantages are more significant.

Society with elder people have more organsized lifestyle, other hand they maintain their food habits and excercise more seriously and maintain natural connections with their surrounds. This help feel more energized and active. My grandfather wakes up at 5 am everyday which he has developed over the period that allows him to stay active and feel healthy followed by a great walk. In some cases old age people are the main source of decision makers in the home as they have more knowledge and they are more particular about eavh and everything.

Although, other the old people in the family younger generation ones have to take alot of care and spend more time with so that they do not feel lonley. However, It not only abput the time but it also expensive to lookafter as they need more health care and mediciens more often. Monthly checkups and care is essentinal for them.

In conclusion, although there are disadvantages , I believe elder persons gudience is important in our life as they add more ethical value.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you include relevant points about older people’s experience in family decisions and the time and healthcare costs of caring for them. However, the response only partially develops the comparison asked for. The benefits paragraph focuses mainly on personal routines and family guidance, without explaining broader advantages for society or governments; the disadvantages are also listed rather than weighed against those benefits. The example about your grandfather supports the point about staying active, but does not establish how an aging population benefits society. The conclusion repeats your position but does not resolve the comparison. The response is also 13 words below the required minimum. Develop and support both sides, then explain explicitly why one outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the benefits paragraph moves from lifestyle habits to your grandfather and then to decision-making in the home without explaining how these points connect or support the overall comparison. Linking phrases such as “Although” and “However” are used, but some transitions are awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. The conclusion is brief and does not bring the two sides together. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one main idea at a time, and add explicit links between examples and your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “burden for the government,” “health care,” “monthly checkups,” and “ethical value.” These choices show an attempt to discuss both social costs and the contribution of older people. However, the range is limited, and frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices sometimes make the message difficult to follow, as in “debet,” “organsized,” “eavh,” and “gudience.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “natural connections with their surrounds” and “old age people.” Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing public services, experience, and social contributions, and check spelling carefully. More accurate collocations would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a few complex structures, including the opening contrast with “whereas” and the concession beginning “Although older population has certain disadvantages.” However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation occur frequently. For example, “Society with elder people have” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “This help feel more energized” lacks a clear grammatical subject and verb construction. The sentence beginning “Although, other the old people…” is difficult to interpret because its structure is incomplete. Commas and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “although,” “because,” and “while.”

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