Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

With modern science and technology, we can now provide elderly people with exclusive heathcare facilities. Lifestyle is another big factor; people are now more health concious than the past. As a result, we can see that the average lifespan of humans has increased in some countries. I believe having an aging population is beneficial, and the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

The primary disadvantage that people assume is that the elderly people need more medical care. The government needs to spend more money for them, to cover for their heatlcare and needs. Most of them need nurses and that puts an extra cost. It's not about medical care only, there are many people who are suffering from depression because of their loneliness, particualrly those whose children left them. So, they are the governments' responsibility and government should spend money for their mental health too. Some argue that it's a waste of public fund. Nevertheless, I do not see it this way.

From an emotional perspective, I believe they are an essential and useful part of our society. None should treat them bad only because they are not being able to make money anymore. Once, they fulfilled their resposibilites and now they are our responsibility. Furthermore, having an elderly in your family is a blessing. We can learn so much from them. We learn about the history of our anchestors from them, taking care of them gives us satisfaction and pleasure. For example, Japan is the country with highest number of elderly people. It has a village where most of it's residents are above 80 years old. The village received a lot of praises for this and the government is very interested to work for the betterment of the village residents. The young residents of that village are also very happy to take care of the elderly ones.

So, in conclusion, I believe having an elderly should be counted as a blessing. We must show our respect to them, and the government should work for their benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. You address both sides by discussing public spending and care needs, then explaining the emotional and social value of older people. The examples about family learning and the Japanese village are relevant, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the village example does not clearly show how its situation demonstrates wider benefits for society or outweighs the costs raised earlier. To strengthen the response, develop a direct comparison of the advantages and disadvantages, and support each main claim with a clearer explanation or specific evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. The progression from the costs of healthcare to the social value of older people is generally understandable. However, the argument’s development is not always smooth: the paragraph beginning “From an emotional perspective” moves between respect, family learning, and a village example without clearly linking each point to the central comparison. Some transitions, such as “Nevertheless” and “Furthermore,” help, but connections can feel mechanical, and references such as “this” are not always precise. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main claim, then connect examples explicitly to that claim and to your overall position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “average lifespan,” “medical care,” “public fund,” and “mental health,” which allows you to discuss the topic clearly. There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “a blessing” and “essential and useful part of our society.” However, several spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations reduce control, including “heathcare,” “concious,” “heatlcare,” and “governments’ responsibility.” Some wording is also repetitive, particularly repeated references to “elderly” and “government.” Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, and vary terms such as “older people,” “older adults,” and “public expenditure” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “because of their loneliness” and “only because they are not being able to make money anymore.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “people are now more health conscious than the past” needs a comparison structure such as “than in the past,” while “None should treat them bad” has an incorrect adverb form and sentence construction. There are also issues with articles and agreement in phrases such as “having an elderly in your family” and “the country with highest number.” Review comparative forms, articles, and verb patterns, then proofread to make these structures more accurate while retaining sentence variety.

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