Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern world, people are living longer in some countries as compared to the rest of the world, which causes several problems for the government and the caretakers as well, however there are multiple benifits of these long living individuals.

These elder people are causing many problems for authorities who are responsible for managing healthcare and finances.These people need special care in terms of medical and nutritions which bring up as a burden on the government. Managing such a huge healthcare system and providing funding to these departments causes shortage of finances for other essential divisions like education and development. Another major issue is the avalability of medical staff for all the individuals.

On the other hand contradicts say that these people are the key elements of our society and it is out prior responsibility to take care of them. They argue that these are the individuals who brought us and taught us every single thing. They are the owners of our culture and traditions which is essential to pass on to the next generations. Another major point they highlight is that all of these people are not required an intensive care, they just need a regular check up and in some houses where both of parent are responsible for bread and butter of the house the old people take care of their childrens. Their up bringing shows a clear difference in children in terms of moral values and rich cultural adoption which is crucial for every society to sustain in this world.

In conclusion, I do agree there are some disadvantages of aging population but their advantages clearly ovtweight the disadvantages because their upbinging of kids with rich moral values is the thing which could never be paid.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position: the conclusion says the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The discussion of pressure on healthcare funding and staffing is relevant, while the benefits section gives cultural transmission and childcare support as reasons older people contribute to society. These points show a sound response to the task. However, the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages, and some claims need clearer explanation—for example, how older people’s childcare directly benefits society beyond individual households. The argument would be stronger with a more balanced comparison and a specific example or evidence showing why the benefits outweigh public costs. Your position is clear, but its justification is not yet consistently extended.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph presenting benefits, and a conclusion. The contrast marker “On the other hand” helps signal the shift, and the conclusion returns to your position. This gives the reader a coherent route through the argument. Some connections are less smooth, however. The opening sentence joins contrasting ideas with “however” without appropriate punctuation, and “On the other hand contradicts say” makes the relationship between the opposing view and your own difficult to follow. Within the benefits paragraph, cultural preservation, childcare, and children’s moral development are linked, but the progression between them could be clearer. Use more precise referencing and transitions to make the reasoning flow naturally rather than relying mainly on broad paragraph-level contrasts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “healthcare,” “finances,” “medical staff,” “culture and traditions,” and “moral values,” which allows you to discuss both costs and social contributions. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “intensive care” and “pass on to the next generations.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “benifits,” “avalability,” “ovtweight,” and “upbinging.” Some expressions are also unnatural or unclear, such as “long living individuals,” “owners of our culture,” and “bread and butter of the house.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. A broader range of precise terms for older people’s economic and social roles would help you express the argument more flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“individuals who brought us”) and a conditional clause beginning “where both of parent are responsible.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some sentence structures and punctuation are not controlled consistently. For example, the opening sentence runs contrasting clauses together, and “On the other hand contradicts say” lacks a clear grammatical subject and verb. There are also errors in agreement and number, as in “both of parent,” and in the construction “all of these people are not required an intensive care.” These issues sometimes make the reader pause to interpret your meaning. Practise building complex sentences around a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, and clause boundaries before submitting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.