Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In most of the countries, we saw that people are living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for goverment or other population also think that it is benifical for society if we have elderly people.It is truly advantages for us to have elder people in our lives.

If we have elder parents in our life they tought us abaout life so much and gave us more experince that they gained in their whole life with struggles.And having elders in our home was a blessings for us to have them in our life.Also it feels more comfortable for us to share our life problmes with them to take a best solution from there expirnced

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You express a relevant view that having older people in society is beneficial, and you give a personal reason: elderly parents can share life experience and help solve problems. However, the response does not address the question fully: it gives no disadvantages or comparison showing to what extent the benefits outweigh them, and the position is only briefly stated. The ideas are also asserted rather than explained with a specific example or developed reasoning. The response contains 105 words, so it is 145 words short of the required 250; 14 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, state your position clearly, discuss both benefits and drawbacks, and support each main point with explanation and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from the general topic to the benefit of older family members, and linking expressions such as “Also” and “so” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one paragraph, and the ideas do not develop into a clear essay progression. The opening repeats the task’s general point, while the later sentences focus on family experience without a transition to the wider effects on society or governments. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly the final phrase about taking “a best solution from there.” Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Use clear references and linking phrases to show how each example supports your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “aging population,” “elderly people,” “struggles,” and “experience,” and the reader can identify your main point. However, the range is narrow and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors make the writing less clear or natural. Examples include “benifical,” “problmes,” and “expirnced,” as well as “take a best solution,” which is not a natural expression. “Elder” is also used repeatedly where “older people” or “elderly relatives” would fit better. Build a wider set of accurate terms for social effects, such as pensions, healthcare, caregiving, and intergenerational knowledge, and check spelling and common word combinations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate simple ideas using basic sentence patterns, and the sentence beginning “If we have elder parents…” attempts a conditional structure. However, grammatical control is uneven, and the response relies mostly on simple clauses rather than showing a range of sentence forms. For example, “some people say … or other population also think” has unclear clause structure, while “If we have elder parents in our life they tought us” shifts between present and past forms and lacks punctuation after the introductory clause. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and agreement, as in “was a blessings.” Practise building complete sentences with consistent tense, accurate subject–verb agreement, and punctuation; then combine related ideas using controlled complex structures.

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