Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many individuals are living longer than before. Some people believe that these elders can make issues for governments, while others say there are benefits of these elderly people for our society. In this essay I will discuss both advantagdes and disadvandages in detail.

On one side, there is no doubt that the elderly people have a great experiences in both life and profession sides which make them so useful to our society. This is becuase they can guide the new generations to the proper directions. Furthermore, they can teach them how to find the road of success. For example, When I graduated from faculty of science in 2017, I asked my elder uncle to advise me for my career and his advice was the main reason why I choose my current career. Moreover, the elderly people can enhance the moral and ethical concepts in our society. These advantages are clearly surpass the disadvantages of an aging population.

However, it is often argued that, an aging population puts pressure on governments. This is because after their retirement, the government should pay to them monthly without any productivity. For instance, If the number of elders was huge in some country, it can make the financial situation of the government becomes imbalanced which will cause some economic problems and also it can has a negative impact on other services.

In conclusion, we must take into consideration that the elderly people can improve our society by thier experiences. Nevertheless, they also can cause some problems for governments. I believe that the advantagdes of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and state a clear position in the introduction and conclusion: you believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. The examples about your uncle’s career advice and the pressure of pension payments are relevant. However, the response only partly develops the comparison required by “to what extent.” The benefits are described broadly, while the disadvantage is mainly limited to government spending; the claim that older people contribute “without any productivity” is also not explained or balanced against their possible contributions. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and show why the benefits are more significant overall. The response meets the task’s length requirement; eight words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Moreover,” and “However” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the comparison between the two sides is not sustained. The sentence “These advantages are clearly surpass the disadvantages” concludes the benefits paragraph before the opposing case has been presented, which weakens the overall flow. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the move from pension costs to “other services.” Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain its consequences, and reserve the final comparison for the conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “retirement,” “financial situation,” “economic problems,” and “moral and ethical concepts.” These choices make the general meaning clear. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “make issues for governments,” “profession sides,” and “find the road of success.” Spelling errors, including “advantagdes,” “disadvandages,” “becuase,” and “thier,” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the writing. Aim for more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe older people as “experienced members of society” and say that pension costs “place pressure on public finances.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, using structures such as “This is because…” and “If the number of elders was huge…”. The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors occur frequently, especially in longer sentences. For example, “These advantages are clearly surpass the disadvantages” has an incorrect verb construction, and “it can make the financial situation … becomes imbalanced” combines incompatible structures. Other examples include “the government should pay to them” and “it can has a negative impact.” Review verb forms, sentence patterns after “make,” and article and preposition use. Breaking complex ideas into shorter, accurate sentences would improve clarity while you build control of more varied structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.