Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries,now people are living longer life as compared to the past but some individual think that aging community developed issues for government but other people think that there are many benefits if society has more eldery people.

In my perspective, advantages outweigh disadvanatges.

One of the main advantage is that if eldery are more in society it give us benefit in sense of that they can advice to their young generation properly as they are experienced individuals and they faced many up and downs in their life.So, with their experience about life they are the best person in our society who can handle todays generation in many matters.

For intance, if i talk about my parents and grand-parents they can educate us as well as our childrens.They can take good care of us as well as our family.

Another eaxample is that if any parents our working then having elderly parents parents at our home are great blessing for the entire family. They took more care of our childrens in our abscence and we are stressed free during our working hours.

If we have to attend any important meeting or have busy schedule our elderly grandparents may attend our childrens school meeting with their teachers,therfore we get many benefits.

In today;s

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“advantages outweigh disadvantages”—and give relevant benefits, especially older relatives’ experience and help with childcare and school meetings. These examples show why an aging population may benefit families. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it does not explain the disadvantages for governments, such as increased healthcare or pension costs, or compare those costs with the benefits. The supporting ideas are also repeated and remain narrowly focused on family life rather than society more broadly. The response is below the required 250 words, which limits the opportunity to develop both sides and justify your judgement. To strengthen the answer, discuss at least one significant disadvantage, then explain why your chosen benefits outweigh it, using a broader example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, a stated opinion, and examples supporting that opinion. Phrases such as “For instance” and “Another example” help signal examples, and the family-care examples are generally related to the main point. However, the progression is limited because several examples repeat the same idea of grandparents caring for children, while the opposing view is not developed. Paragraphing is also weak: most of the supporting material runs together, and the final fragment, “In today’s,” leaves the response unfinished. Use separate paragraphs for the benefits, disadvantages, and conclusion, and connect each paragraph to the comparison in the question. This would make the overall line of argument clearer and reduce reliance on repetitive example markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “experienced individuals,” “generation,” “working hours,” and “school meeting.” These choices help communicate the central idea that older people can support younger family members. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, such as “aging community developed issues,” “in sense of,” and “stressed free.” Spelling errors—including “eldery,” “disadvanatges,” and “abscence”—also make the writing less clear and polished. Aim for more precise topic vocabulary, particularly for the missing discussion of public costs and social contributions. Learning accurate collocations and checking spelling would make your meaning easier to follow and help you express ideas with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, for example, “they can advice to their young generation properly as they are experienced individuals.” This shows an effort to connect ideas, but complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors occur frequently enough to make some passages difficult to read. Examples include “it give us benefit,” “they are the best person,” and “if any parents our working,” where agreement or sentence structure is faulty. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also need attention: several ideas are joined without full stops, and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and checking each sentence for a complete subject and verb before adding further clauses.

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