Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the recent years, eldery population are increased due to advances of science. In my opinion, older people helps to shape the society so having them around overshadow the negative aspect such as a cause of problems to the goverment of the country.

Commencing with the positive side, aged people can acts as a mentor for the younger generation by teaching them morals, principles and beliefs from their experiences. Nowadays, youth are loosing their basic manners because of the bad influence around them, so grandfather and grandmother can provide them a guidence a regarding how they should behave appropriately in the society. To exempify, a boy was bullying a girl in the playground because of her skin tone; however, he was interrupted by the other boy playing beside them by advicing him that there is no superiority in making other people feel inferior about their insecurities, a lesson that his grandmother taught when he was five.

Turning to the negative point, if number of aged individuals increases it will become difficult to manage their living for the government as authorities are needed to provide them with the cost of living, residence as well as the food. All of the above facilities can cost them fortune which will eventually cause the trouble for the other important policies of the government which requires monetary support. For instance, if significant amount of money will be allocated to old age homes, then policies for rural people employment will not recieve funds as per requirement.

In conclusion, despite having concerns about the old age community being burden on government their presence around today's youth is much more necessary.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of older people’s presence outweigh the problems for governments. You address both sides, explaining that older people can guide younger generations and that supporting them can divert public funds from other policies. The grandmother example gives the first point a concrete illustration, while the old-age-home example supports the financial concern. This covers the task well, but the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not fully developed: the conclusion asserts that older people are “much more necessary” without explaining why their social contribution outweighs the costs. Some claims, such as the generalisation about young people losing manners, would also benefit from qualification or further support. Develop the weighing of the two sides more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the positive and negative points, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “Commencing with the positive side” and “Turning to the negative point” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. The examples are placed alongside the points they illustrate, which helps the reader understand their purpose. However, some links are mechanical, and the long playground example makes the first body paragraph less focused. The conclusion repeats the position but does not draw together the comparison developed in the body. Use clearer links between each claim and its consequence, and make the final paragraph explain briefly why the benefits outweigh the costs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “mentor,” “younger generation,” “monetary support,” and “policies,” and the main ideas remain understandable. There are also attempts to use less common expressions, but inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “eldery population,” “provide them with the cost of living,” “cause the trouble,” and “cost them fortune.” Several words are misspelled, including “loosing,” “guidence,” “exempify,” and “recieve.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate phrasing: for example, say “provide financial support” and “place a burden on public finances.” Proofreading spelling and checking collocations would make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if significant amount of money will be allocated” and a contrast introduced by “however.” These attempts help express cause, contrast, and examples, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships less clear. For instance, “elderly population are increased” has problems with the subject and verb form, while “older people helps” and “aged people can acts” show agreement and verb-form errors. Articles and sentence patterns also need attention, as in “if number of aged individuals increases” and “provide them with the cost of living.” In the conditional example, use “if a significant amount … is allocated,” not “will be allocated.” Practise checking agreement, articles, and verb forms in complex sentences.

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