Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this era, people are living longer than ever before in many countries. some people argue that older people creates problems for governments but other other people assume that there are alot of benefits to society, if it has more aging population.

I agree with the view in which olders are important and these are respectful personalities in our society.

Overall, Elder population is a asset of government. without their experiences our society are nothing and ofcourse, having an aging people outweigh the disadvantage.

firstly, there are alot of benefits to having elderly people. youngstars get to know the original history of ancestors.I also think aging people dont need to take retairment. Company cannot go well without experience persons and also juniors have an option to get knowledge by them. for Example, My grandparents is my loving assets. he donnot like to do rest, he grandpa is a teacher he is a teacher of instructors who teach in colleges. he share their experience that he get from his whole teaching career. like that many older in our society runs different businesses.They have patience that many young people donnot have. i feel that in everyfield of life we need our older. my many life problem is overcome just because of my grandparents they know how to handle and solution.

Every beautiful pause have a bad side, people who say an aging population creates problems for governments. like when a body gets older, its full of health issues. many olders have disease and their medicines are quite expansive.it should be covered by government and sometime need to old age home for caring but this is not a problem creates by ageds.This is the right of every citizen and they pay alot of taxes to government for facilities. so, i dont think so that anyone have a right to say against it because every one will older one day and everyone will face such time.

In conclusion, these problems we can overcome easily. older people is a heart of society and they contributed their whole life to country and still he is worthed to society without having any doubts

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and make your position clear: you believe older people benefit society and that their contributions outweigh the costs. The examples about your grandparents’ teaching experience, patience and advice help make the benefits relevant. You also acknowledge government spending on healthcare and care homes, then argue that these are citizens’ rights. However, the advantages are developed more fully than the disadvantages, and some claims need clearer explanation—for example, the point that older people “don’t need to take retirement” is not connected convincingly to the question. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how older people contribute and weigh those contributions against the financial pressures on governments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its main sections. Basic signposting such as “firstly,” “for example,” and “in conclusion” also helps. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the benefits paragraph moves from history to retirement, a personal example and businesses without clearly linking each point. Some transitions are awkward or unclear, including “Every beautiful pause have a bad side,” and repeated references such as “older people” do not always make the relationship between ideas clear. Organise each body paragraph around one main claim, develop it with an explanation and example, and use more precise links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “experience,” “health issues,” “medicines,” “patience” and “contributed,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and several word choices, collocations and spellings are inaccurate or informal, sometimes making ideas harder to follow. Examples include “respectful personalities” for respected members of society, “loving assets” for valued family members, and “expansive” where you mean expensive. Repetition of “older people” and “benefits” also limits variety. Build a more precise topic vocabulary and check spelling and natural word combinations; this will help you express your ideas without relying on awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both short statements and attempts at longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “when” and “because.” This shows some variety, but control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences, and errors sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “older people creates problems” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “My grandparents is” and “our society are” also show agreement problems. Verb forms and sentence construction are unclear in “he share their experience” and “my many life problem is overcome.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, especially at sentence beginnings. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, past and present verb forms, and clear sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures.

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