Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

These days; it has been generally believed that people are living longer than past due to highely development and improvement on human life through technology, progess on knowledge and build a sense or meaning about life. This can have both advantage and disadvantages. In my analysis, I find that there are more advantages than disadvantages.

To begin with, there are several merits of people living longer than ever before. One of them is that through highely improvement on human livehood such as people giving time on their physical activity as well as taking proper diet foods. It can be greatlu beneficial to individuals and the society. For Instance; having more population of people on countries it will helped government and sciety to developed in diffrent sectors for examples, people can gain past knowledge through olders such as making pottery, many cultures and traditional they will learn about it from elderly people. To support this, people make health sectors like hospitals, clinic, healthpost for eople to check up of their heakth to live more longer. Therefore, one should focus on how this can have a positive effect on the long run.

In contrat, despite several positive sides of this, the drawbacks cannot be overlooked, in this regard, i would agree with that more enganging population create problems for governments because it will create a problems on people livehood and their financial. For example; health problems, family conditions, financial problems etc. Similary, anothet thing to consider in this context is that people get less oppourtinities on jobs as well as on health sectors also. It seems to me that these aspects should also be taken into consideration while judging the pors and cons.

In conclusion; it conclude that there are more benefits for younger towards the elferly people because they help and guide the younger people perfectly and make them more onfidents and inspiring.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view in the introduction, stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you include points about older people sharing cultural knowledge and the pressures of healthcare and employment. However, the response only partially answers the comparison in the question. The benefits are not explained convincingly: for example, the claim that a larger elderly population helps governments develop different sectors is unclear, and the pottery example is not linked to wider social benefits. The disadvantages are listed as health, family and financial problems, but these are not explained or supported with a specific example. Develop fewer points in more detail and explicitly weigh their importance against each other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a contrasting paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “In contrast,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For instance, the discussion moves from physical activity and diet to government development, traditional pottery, and healthcare facilities without explaining the connections. Some transitions are also mechanical or awkward, and references such as “this” and “these aspects” do not always identify a precise idea. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “elderly people,” “traditional,” “financial problems,” and “health sectors,” and you use some topic-related expressions. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand. Examples include “highely,” “progess,” “people livehood,” and “more enganging population.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “gain past knowledge through olders” and “make health sectors.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding complex-sounding wording. Proofread spelling carefully and learn useful topic collocations such as “an ageing population,” “healthcare costs,” and “pass on cultural knowledge.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “such as,” but control is inconsistent. Frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. For example, “it will helped government” has an incorrect verb form, while “there are more benefits for younger towards the elderly people” does not form a clear grammatical relationship. Punctuation also causes problems: several sentences use semicolons where a full stop or comma would be more appropriate. Practise building complete sentences with one clear subject and verb, then check agreement and tense. More accurate control of basic structures will make your longer sentences easier to follow.

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