Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Around the globe, high longevity is the other of the day as compared to premodial times. Some group opine that advanced people cause nausance to the authority, others believe that there being around is endearing. Do you agree or disagree to this.

On the one hand, supporters of this view, suggests that age is a blessing from God. To have an elder around you, simply means that you are bound to have history flooded around you, morals become a necessity being around such people. Their words of advice and blessings will keep protecting you and to some extent, their innate beliefs come through for them. Some go as far as offering their palms and a little spittle from the elderly is a sign of blessing for the day.

On the other hand, some group of persons feel that they are posing distraction to the government, in the areas of pensions and gratuity payments for the retired groups, health care and occupying the space which the younger generation would fit into. In the case of healthcare delivery, these advanced generation, are most times given free medical treatments, which would have fetched a good sum should it be a young person. Again, tax exemption, is generally offered these group of persons.

In my opinion, people are now living longer than in the past, is an indication, that the older generation are now being well taken care of. I dont think it is out of the norm to have them around, because if they are being cared for , they cannot pose a threat to the authorities in any way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the question: it describes cultural and personal benefits of having older people nearby, then identifies costs involving pensions, healthcare and tax exemptions. Your final paragraph also gives a position, arguing that older people do not threaten authorities if they are cared for. However, the task asks how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and this comparison is not made clearly. The benefits are mostly expressed as general beliefs about elders’ advice and blessings, while the disadvantages are listed without weighing their scale or explaining their wider effects. The opening also frames the issue as whether you agree or disagree, rather than directly answering the comparison. State your judgement clearly and develop a few relevant points with specific explanations or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two sides, and a concluding opinion. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the contrast, and “In my opinion” signals your conclusion. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: the first moves from history and morals to blessings without showing how these points support a social advantage, while the second lists several costs with little connection between them. The conclusion introduces the idea that longer lives show older people are well cared for, but this does not fully resolve the earlier comparison. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and make the conclusion directly weigh benefits against costs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “longevity,” “pensions,” “gratuity payments,” “health care,” and “tax exemption.” These choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. However, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions make parts of the argument difficult to interpret, such as “high longevity is the other of the day,” “advanced people,” and “posing distraction to the government.” Spelling and word-form problems, including “premodial” and “nausance,” also reduce clarity. Some phrases, such as “history flooded around you,” are vivid but unclear in this context. Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check spelling; for example, describe older people as placing “pressure on public services” rather than as a distraction.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur in sentence structure, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “supporters of this view, suggests” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “some group opine” and “these group of persons” show problems with number agreement. The opening question, “Do you agree or disagree to this,” is not well integrated into the essay, and several sentences use commas where the sentence structure does not require them. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and checking each sentence for a complete, clear grammatical structure before adding complex clauses.

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