Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many nations, life expectancy has increased than before some people argue that aged people makes problems for the government and others argue that they are benefit for the society. Elderly people can help maintain good society but i believe that increase in elderly people can force government to increase its pension fund and also it can affect the population proportion.

On the one hand if the proportion of elderly population increases it provides sone significant advantage like maintaining good society. In addition, elderly people are the ones who give good morals to the younger population also they provide their experiences to the youth of the country which helps them to take a good path in the future. For instance, in India it is said that the advice of elderly is always right. therefore increase in elderly can provide moral advantage to the society.

On the other hand, population increase in the aging population carries some disadvantages like forcing government to increase pension fund. Furthermore, increase in the amount of aging population means increase in pension fund of government as the no of people seeking the pension are increased the fund simultaneously increases which could be used for other beneficial projects. For example, in Brazil most population are elderly and the 48% of the Brazil's income is used for providing pension. Secondly, it can affect the proportion of population. Moreover the increase in population in elderly age group can disturb the balance among the whole country which result in less workers and job seekers which puts a burden on the young generation. For example, In Japan 33% of the population living is elderly which is affecting their economy by creating vacancies as elderly people do not work.

In conclusion, although the elderly provide significant advantage like maintaining good society it does not outweigh the disadvantages like increase in pension fund and disrupting the balanced population

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall judgement: the benefits of elderly people’s advice and moral guidance do not outweigh the costs to government and population balance. The pension-fund point is supported with an example, and the discussion of a smaller workforce is relevant. However, the advantages are less fully developed than the disadvantages: “maintaining good society” and the claim that elderly people give sound advice need clearer explanation of how these benefits affect society more broadly. Some supporting claims, such as the figures about Brazil and Japan, are presented without context, so their relevance is not fully established. Develop the benefits with a specific consequence and make the comparison between the two sides more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that returns to your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. The disadvantages paragraph also progresses from pension costs to workforce balance. To make the organisation more controlled, avoid stacking connectors that perform the same function, as in “Furthermore” followed by “Moreover.” Some references are unclear or repetitive, particularly the repeated explanation that more pension recipients mean a larger pension fund. Use pronouns and linking phrases more precisely, and give each main idea a distinct explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “life expectancy,” “pension fund,” “population proportion,” and “job seekers,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “burden on the young generation.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “aged people makes problems,” “good society,” and “increase in the amount of aging population” sound unnatural, while “population” and “increase” recur frequently. Spelling and form errors such as “sone” and “no of” also reduce precision. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing demographic change, public spending, and social contributions, and check word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and relative clauses, as in “if the proportion of elderly population increases” and “which helps them to take a good path.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries reduce accuracy. For example, “aged people makes problems” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “which result in less workers” needs a correctly formed verb and plural construction. The opening sentence also joins several ideas without clear punctuation, and capitalisation after full stops is inconsistent. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and use commas and full stops to separate complete ideas.

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