Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many nations lifespan of individuals has incresed then past . Many people argue that aged generation cause difficulty for goverment while some of the people oppose this argument by saying that having more older individual are helpful for the society.

To begin with, many people think that having older people is advantage. Old people are far more experienced then any of young individuals. This experince can be atttractively beneficial for society and upcoming generation. They guide people to live better life by teaching them moral value and help them to avoid any mistake or difficulty which they have faced during their life. For example, someone who is struggling with their metal health to find which path they want to take for their career or does not know that which is better for them can be guided by older people that they went through such things and this situations are nothing to be worried about.

On the other hand, many individual feel that aged people are more prone to create problems for the government. Old people are oftrn retired and does not contribute either much to the society or to the goverment. Not only this but they also cause for the leading party of the nation as they have to use much of the expances over better and more available helthcare system and by providing financial help after the retirment and they got relatively nothing back from them.

In conclusion. old people contribute less financialy but they contribute much more morally and lead society to better future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: older people may contribute less financially, but offer moral guidance that benefits society. The examples about sharing life experience and helping younger people make career decisions are relevant. However, the discussion of advantages is more developed than the disadvantages, which are mainly presented as retirement costs and healthcare spending. The claim that older people “got relatively nothing back” is also broad and would benefit from qualification or support. To strengthen the response, explain more fully how older people can contribute beyond moral guidance, and develop the government-cost argument with a specific example or explanation. This would make the comparison of advantages and disadvantages more balanced and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each side, and a conclusion. “To begin with” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between arguments, and the main ideas are generally easy to follow. Some connections within sentences are less clear, however. For example, the long sentence beginning “Not only this” combines retirement, healthcare expenditure and financial support without clearly showing how these points relate. The conclusion also repeats the central contrast rather than drawing together the comparison. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and make references such as “they” unambiguous. More varied, precise transitions would make the progression feel less formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “experienced,” “moral value,” “healthcare system,” “financial help” and “retirement.” These choices allow you to discuss both social contributions and public costs. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, as in “incresed,” “experince,” “atttractively” and “expances.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “cause for the leading party” does not clearly express the burden on government, while “contribute much more morally” is awkward. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully. A more precise range of expressions for public spending, caregiving and older people’s contributions would help you communicate the argument more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrastive construction “Not only this but…” and a relative clause in “people that they went through such things.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “aged generation cause” needs a singular subject with a matching verb, and “Old people are often retired and does not contribute” shifts incorrectly from plural to singular agreement. The example sentence beginning “someone who is struggling” also becomes difficult to follow because its clauses are not controlled clearly. Practise building complex sentences around one main clause, and check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation when editing.

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