Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In numerous country, Individuals are now survive longer than ever before. Some people say that an aging population creates difficulty for governmernts. Other believe that there are advantages if the citizens has more elderly people.

I partly agree with this statement because it has both advantages and disadvanatges but it depend on the culture and traditional. First of all, indivuals tell older population has variuos postive aspects.It is beacuse they know the senior citizens solved their difficult problem in easy way without any argument.The main reasons is that the culture teach their to respect their elders. For instance, in the society, there a lot of individuals did not recognize the tradtional things so they can help their older people to learn and teach these things.In addtions, ageing population helping their family in their works such as going to market buy somethings if the their family member busy in their works.

On the other hand, some people belive that over populations of erderly citizens creates a numerious problems for government. Firstly, they loss the money beacuse elderly populations take pentions from the admistartions.So they thinks they harm the ecnomics. However older population do not work because they do not enough strenghts to lif somethings in their shoulders. For example, when a younger woker becomes old they not needed for the government so the government take the pentions and the older people give money without any work so they damage the authuorties in this way. Thus the other things that they create a ecnomics issue.

In my opinions we should become a benfits in our society such as to create some easy jobs for the growing older populations. In conclusion it is clear that it has both agree to some extent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question by describing older people’s contributions to families and culture, then discussing pension costs and reduced ability to work. However, the response only partly answers the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The opening says, “I partly agree,” but the conclusion does not make a clear comparison or confirm which side is stronger. Several points are also under-developed: for example, the claim that older people help families by shopping is not explained in relation to wider social benefits, while the economic argument is repeated rather than supported with a specific example. State a consistent position and explain the significance of each main point to the overall balance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “First of all,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers identify the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are joined without clear explanation. The example about younger workers becoming old and receiving pensions repeats the preceding point rather than extending it, and the final paragraph introduces “easy jobs” without connecting this proposal to the earlier discussion. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically. Organise each body paragraph around one clear claim, then explain and illustrate it before moving to the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “aging population,” “senior citizens,” “traditional,” “pensions,” and “economics.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing the issue. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are frequent and sometimes make the intended meaning harder to understand, as in “admistartions,” “authuorties,” and “numerious problems.” Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “they loss the money” and “become a benfits in our society.” Aim to learn accurate topic-related collocations and check word forms and spelling. For example, use “increase government expenditure on pensions” rather than describing governments as losing money, and choose precise terms such as “economic burden” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including a reason clause beginning “because” and an example introduced by “For instance.” However, the range remains limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in phrases such as “the citizens has,” “older population helping,” and “they not needed.” Articles, plurals, and sentence construction are also inconsistent, as in “there a lot of individuals did not recognize.” These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Practise building accurate sentences with a subject and finite verb, then add one clause at a time. Check agreement, tense, and articles when revising, and use punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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