Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Population are the biggest problems globally and few peoples argue its is due to increase in numbers of senior citizens while other think elderly peoples are beneficial for whole society.i will discuss the both advantages and disadvantages of aging population with reasons that how it is more beneficial for societiesin this essay.

On the one hand, when peoples talk about problems facing government specifically of senior peoples just the reasons that it could be most expensive for administration to keep extra budget for increased number of senior citizens homes.

Another reasons is that nowadays when people age going up to 50 years majority of the family sent thier eldely to old age homes it became a trend everyone wants to live independently alone not with thier seniors.Increased number of ald age homes makes problem for Government to manage all long live persons.

On the other hand,In my opinion every family is incomplete without having our old age seniors at home.They are our responsibility to finance and takecare of our seniors.They are inspirational for us in every walk of our life when we ourself reached at that age we realise that how much we needed our younger concentration and care.however,the aging population which have no family members alive remained very few which should go to old age home and managed easily.

In conclusion,Therefore it is not only the responsibilty of the Government to keep and manage old age peoples.It is the responsibilty of every citizens to take care of seniors citizens at thier homes.The charity center also is benefits for that elderly peoples and for Governments if all the humans take responsibilty

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the question by mentioning government costs and the value of older people within families, and your conclusion makes your view broadly clear: families as well as governments should care for seniors. However, the response only partially answers the key question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The benefits are mainly expressed as a general belief that families are incomplete without older relatives, rather than being explained through specific contributions such as childcare, cultural knowledge, or community support. The disadvantages are also narrow, focusing mostly on care-home costs. Develop and compare both sides, then state explicitly which side is stronger and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the two sides of your discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the point about families sending older relatives to care homes is followed by a broad claim about government management without fully explaining the connection. Some linking expressions, including “Another reasons” and “however,” do not clearly signal the relationship between ideas. The conclusion repeats the responsibility point rather than bringing the comparison together. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and use clear references and transitions to show how the ideas connect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “senior citizens,” “aging population,” “old age homes,” and “responsibility,” so the reader can generally follow the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning difficult to interpret. For example, “younger concentration and care” does not clearly express the support older people need, and “charity center also is benefits” is unclear. Spelling and word-form errors such as “eldely,” “responsibilty,” and “peoples” are also noticeable. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing pensions, healthcare, caregiving, and older people’s contributions, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast between the two sides and a conditional idea in “when we ourself reached at that age.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “Population are,” “every citizens,” and “when people age going up to 50 years.” Several sentences also run together, particularly in the introduction and the paragraph beginning “On the other hand.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected subordinate clause, then check subject–verb agreement, verb tense, and punctuation.

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