Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this world,everyone wants to live more longer life and enjoy many years of life.Same as everyone wants to live healthy life.After this situation,many of countries is grow up better facilties for the health of people.Despite that,many parts of world is people live more life then the past ones,due the better health facilties today.so that,it is argued that its creates problem for the government.while other thinks that it is beneficial for society.In this essay,i will discss both of views and also explain the advantages.

On the first hand, the people who live more is more beneficial for the society.Firstly, older people is really best of the employe in the work and do such best activities campare then the young people. it is due to more experiance and more knowldge then the young people.Instance,older people is more beneficial for the home facilties and for give knowdlge to te young genrations.For example, when the parents go their work after that the grand parents took care of their children and also support the children.

On the other hand, older people creates problems for the government.firstly, older people take more money and they recieve pension according to the duties, more over government also spend more money in their health sector and health facilties.

In conclusion, i think that older people is more beneficial and aslo more advantages compare to disadvantages.They beneficial for doing best work and also took best care of the children after the parents,while its also creates problems for the goverment spend more money and also health s

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view in the conclusion: you believe the benefits outweigh the costs. The examples about grandparents caring for children and older people sharing experience are relevant, while pension and healthcare spending identify genuine government pressures. However, the discussion is only partial and the position is not fully supported. The claim that older people are better employees than young people is broad and not explained, and the benefits paragraph focuses more on family support than on wider social advantages. The disadvantages are also listed briefly without explaining their scale or consequences. Develop each main point with a reason and a specific example, and make the comparison between benefits and costs more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the main direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and several linking expressions are repetitive or awkward, such as “On the first hand,” “On the other hand,” and repeated uses of “Firstly.” Some sentences run together, while the final sentence ends abruptly, weakening the conclusion. References such as “this situation” and “they” are not always clear. Use a more consistent sequence—main idea, explanation, example—and check that each pronoun clearly refers to a person or idea. A complete final sentence would also make the argument feel more finished.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “pension,” “health sector,” “experience,” and “young generations,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain understanding. Examples include “facilties,” “experiance,” “knowldge,” and “goverment”; phrases such as “live more longer life” and “best activities” are also unnatural or unclear. Some expressions do not convey the intended meaning precisely, particularly the claim that older people are “the best of the employe.” Build a topic vocabulary set and learn common collocations, then proofread spelling and word forms. More precise terms for older people’s contributions and public costs would make the argument clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic connectors to relate ideas, but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is often incorrect, as in “many of countries is grow up” and “older people creates problems.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries: “live healthy life” needs an article, and several sentences begin with lowercase letters or are joined without appropriate punctuation. The final sentence is incomplete, which makes its meaning difficult to follow. Practise forming accurate simple sentences first, especially with subject–verb agreement and articles, then combine them using clauses such as “because” or “although.” Careful editing for complete sentences and punctuation will improve clarity.

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