Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, in many nations, citizens are living more years then they used to live before. Few individuals believe that this is very problematic for the state while, others say that it can be benefical for the general populance if it has more aged people. Elderly people offer wisdom to the society, however they require more facilities and care which can create problems for the government. I strongly believe that it's disadvantages outweigh the advantages and this essay will clarify that with the supporting evidences.

Elderly people are the knowledge holders of the society, however they require more caring and facilities than younger people. Aging population can have several disadvantages, first being the requirement of healthcare. Aged individuals are exposed to more diseases due to the poor immune system. This can put a burden on the authorities as more old people will require more health facilities. Consider an example of a 65 years old individual, he is unable to work due to his old age and rely on the government funds. Furthermore his health insurance covers the medical bills which itself is a burden to the government.

Secondly, old people are unable to work due to their health conditions and those who does work often takes leave days concerning about their health which can be problamatic for the company and the state. Those individuals who do not work ofter relies on the government funds which can create problems for the state. As more aging population means more funding the policymakers will have to provide to the rising population.

To conclude everything, a society cannot afford to have rising aging population as it offers more drawbacks than benefits. An ideal community should be a balance containing every age group but limited.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe the disadvantages of an aging population outweigh its advantages, and you give relevant reasons involving healthcare costs and reliance on government support. These points address the question, but the discussion is uneven. The benefits are mentioned only briefly as elderly people’s wisdom, without explaining how this benefits society or weighing it against the costs. The disadvantages are repeated across both body paragraphs, and examples such as the 65-year-old are asserted rather than developed with specific evidence. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits as well as the drawbacks, then compare their significance and support each main point with a clearer example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly” and “Secondly” help signal the points, and the overall argument is understandable. However, the two body paragraphs overlap: both focus on older people’s inability to work and the resulting pressure on government funds, so the argument does not progress as clearly as it could. Some linking is mechanical, and “however” is used to connect ideas that could be explained more precisely. References such as “it” in the introduction are not fully clear. Give each paragraph a distinct focus—for example, healthcare costs, pension support, and the social value of older people—and use transitions that show how these points relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “healthcare,” “immune system,” “medical bills” and “policymakers,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “put a burden on the authorities.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “old people,” “burden” and “government funds,” and some word choices or collocations are inaccurate, including “more caring and facilities” and “rising aging population.” Spelling errors such as “benefical,” “populance” and “problamatic” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of precise terms for pensions, public services and older people, and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “those who do work” and a cause-and-effect structure in “as more old people will require more health facilities.” The main meaning is generally clear, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction remain. For example, “those who does work” should use a plural verb, and “often takes leave days” should agree with the plural subject. In “he is unable to work … and rely,” the verbs do not agree; “relies” is needed. The sentence beginning “Furthermore his health insurance” is also awkwardly connected to the previous example. Practise checking each subject and verb, and use punctuation to separate complete ideas.

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