Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

The population is continiously decreasing in countries like China, Japan. Because Their people don't want kids. They believe that kids are burden on society. That's why there are elderly people every where. There are no young labour in these countries. And the minimum age of people in these countires is above 60. Almost 80% of people in these countries are elder. The reason behind their good health are the food they eat. They hates the unhygienic food. That's why the regulation about selling food in the market is very strict there. The second reason is that their healthcare system are much advance and better than other countries. These people are totally dependent on government. Because they don't do anything. And this makes the situation worst. These countries invited foreinger in their country and they offer life long settlement and many benefits. They also gives money on giving birth to a child.

On other end some people thinks that they provide benefits to society. Becuase they have more life experiance than other young generation. They believes that elderly people plays important in country economy. They taught the students in better way. They have more life long expreriance.

At the end I only says that it totally depend on behavior of people that how you treat your elderly one's. I know in some countries they lives long and they are burden on government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response touches on both sides of the question, mentioning government costs and the experience older people can share, but it does not clearly answer how far the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The final view—that the issue depends on how people treat older people—does not establish a direct comparison or a consistent position. Several claims, such as “Almost 80%” of people being elderly and older people being “totally dependent on government,” are unsupported and not clearly connected to the argument. The response contains 231 words, so it is 19 words below the 250-word minimum; the 33 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, state your position clearly and develop a few relevant points with explanation or examples rather than listing claims about several countries.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure: an opening, a paragraph about difficulties, a paragraph about possible benefits, and a conclusion. However, the progression within paragraphs is often unclear. The first body paragraph moves from falling birth rates to food regulation, healthcare, government dependence, immigration and birth incentives without showing how each point supports the main argument. Connectors such as “Because,” “That's why,” and “And” are repeated or used to begin fragments, while “On other end” does not clearly signal the relationship between the two sides. The conclusion also introduces a different focus rather than resolving the comparison. Group related ideas, use clear topic sentences, and link each example explicitly to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “aging population,” “labour,” “healthcare system,” “dependent,” and “life experience,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, such as “minimum age of people,” “provide benefits to society,” and “plays important in country economy.” Repeated use of “people,” “countries,” and “elderly” also limits flexibility. Spelling errors—including “continiously,” “countires,” “foreinger,” and “experiance”—are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise terms and check spelling and collocations; for example, describe the proportion of older residents rather than giving an unclear “minimum age,” and use “contribute to the economy” for the intended idea.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences use simple structures, and the reader can usually identify the intended meaning, but grammatical errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “Because Their people don't want kids,” which is an incomplete sentence, “They hates,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “their healthcare system are,” where the verb does not agree with the subject. Other problems include “elderly people plays” and “some people thinks,” as well as missing or incorrect articles and plural forms. Sentence patterns are also repetitive, with many short statements joined by “And” or “Because.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentences, then combine related points using controlled complex structures.

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