Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadyas, some people think that an aging population can produce problems for governments, whereas others believe that elderly people have a wide range of benefits for the society.Personally, i believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
on the one hand, one major advantage of the elderly people is that they play a major role in the economics of the country .Secondly, almost all the elderly people don't work so they let so many offices and works, for instance if a person is old and cannot work, in this case he is going to give his place to another person to benefits from it, and like this there going to be a reduce in the unnemployment.Furthermore, they have more experience than ever had,so elderly people can have sollutions for the problems of the society more quickly than the young people.In addition, the governments benefits from the elderly people because of the health care, for example many people and especially workers don't have much time for their elderly parents, as a result they tend to let their parents in the house of care for elderly people , and puying for it, so in this case the government benefits from it.
On the other hand, one major disadvantages of an aging population is that the decrease in the economics of the country.In other words, the elderly people cannot work because of the illness, so in this case a lot are going to live their works.In addition, elderly people have the experience in the work and life , so when they live, the work are not going to be very seriously and conveniant.
In conclusion,altough the anging population have some disadvantages, it also offers several benifits.Personally, i believe that its advantages are greater than its disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You give a clear overall view that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you include points on employment, experience and care services. However, the response only partially develops the task: several claims are unclear or insufficiently supported. For example, saying older people “let so many offices and works” and thereby reduce unemployment does not explain how this would happen or acknowledge that older people may continue working. The point about governments benefiting from care homes also needs a clearer link to public finances. The disadvantage paragraph focuses mainly on older people leaving work, while the effects on government, such as pension and healthcare costs, are not explained. Develop each main idea with a precise explanation and a relevant example.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined together without clear explanation. The employment argument, for instance, moves from older people not working to vacancies and lower unemployment, but the relationship between these points is not made explicit. Some transitions, including “In addition,” introduce another claim without showing how it connects to the previous one. Organise each paragraph around one central point, then explain and illustrate it before moving on.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “aging population,” “unemployment,” “experience,” and “health care,” and you attempt to express ideas about employment and care services. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make the meaning unclear, such as “a reduce in the unemployment,” “live their works,” and “the work are not going to be very seriously.” Spelling errors such as “Nowadyas,” “sollutions,” and “benifits” are also noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader work to understand your intended meaning. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling; for example, distinguish between “leave a job,” “retire,” and “create a vacancy,” as these do not mean the same thing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, using clauses with “because,” “so,” and “as a result.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty, which can make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “the advantages outweigh the disadvantages” being followed by inconsistent sentence punctuation and capitalisation, “the elderly people cannot work because of the illness,” and “the work are not going to be very seriously.” There are recurring problems with subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly controlled subordinate clause, then check agreement and punctuation. More reliable sentence patterns will help your arguments come across clearly.
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