Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, people are live more than in te past. some people believe old people population create problems for governments. and other people say that there are many benefit if scoiety has more people. i think its depend on the old people how much they participant in the social work. I will discuss the prons and corn in this essay.

Firstly, I do not think the aged people create problems for governments becuase government required aged people for running the country we can see that many president are the older in many counties. becuase elder people have more life experience and they know that how run the country with their expertise, strength , ability Morever they have more knownlege for everying thing they handle the all suituation easily.

Secondly, they are no only benefical for governments they makes help the young people in every difficulties. for example in pakistani cultural if any crime do in villages then older peoples sit together and provide justice their people For instance elder people is very important in every house becuase they manage the all home in good way. Joint family concept in pakistan and family live togetter with grandparents, parents and uncle aunty and every family member respect the older people.

Furthermore, If the people are not died the population is incresed overtime. but i think so every perosn died at a once time. so we do not blame the population is incresed by aging people. government control the population many ways.

In conclusion, my perspective is that aging people has more benfit for society as well government because they have more knowledge and experience and informative persona for young people and every individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view that older people can benefit society and governments, and you offer relevant examples such as experienced leaders and grandparents supporting families. However, the task asks you to weigh advantages against disadvantages, and the disadvantages receive very little development: the point that a larger population grows over time is not explained as a specific pressure on governments, such as pension or healthcare costs. Your position is also qualified by “it depend on the old people,” but this condition is not explored in the conclusion. Develop both sides and explain why the benefits outweigh the costs, using specific reasoning rather than broad claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Furthermore” help signal the sequence, and the examples generally relate to the paragraph topics. However, progression is uneven: the third body paragraph introduces population growth but does not connect it clearly to the disadvantages governments face or compare it with the benefits. Some ideas are crowded together, particularly the discussion of village justice, household management and joint families. Use clearer topic sentences, develop one main point at a time, and make links between examples and your argument explicit. This would make the organisation more coherent and reduce the reliance on basic sequencing words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “life experience,” “expertise,” “population,” and “joint family,” which helps communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning unclear, such as “informative persona,” “they makes help,” and “the all suituation.” Spelling errors are also frequent, including “Nowdays,” “becuase,” “knownlege,” and “incresed,” and these sometimes slow the reader. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than adding difficult words: for example, describe older people as “a source of guidance” and say they “support younger family members.” Proofreading spelling and word forms would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the response is divided into paragraphs, but control is inconsistent. Frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction can make ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “people are live,” “government required,” “they makes help,” and “every person died at a once time.” Some longer sentences run together without clear punctuation, as in the discussion of older leaders’ experience and abilities. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clauses using “because,” “although” and “for example.” Check subject–verb agreement and past or present forms, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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