Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, older people living more longer than in the past because of healthcare and living condidition. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. it has serval advantage but i think advantages of having an aging people are more then disadvantages.

On the one hand aging population creates problems for governments firstly older people need more healthcare service beccause they have more health issue due aging . as a result goverment spent money on hospital, medicines and medical facilities. In addition they are retired from their job so the number of working people decrese. this can reduce the number of workers. and amount of tax collectors lowers Government pay pension to older people and they aslo provide diiferent facilities like monthly household item provide which increase the expense of government.

On the other hand agent people play a important in our society for example they can teach the childerent about their culture, custom and tradition for example in pakistan elderly people share their stories to children and teach respect the other. Older people help the family like they take care of grandchild when their partent on their works consequently they save money of takecare other than is that older people have a lot of knowlege and experience . they can help the younger in their discision making both in professional and personal lives. the most important things ithe older people can mange their family and houshold .

In conclusion, my perspective is that older people are more benefical our society because they have valuable experience and knowledge. Although government spent lot of money on their healthcare service and pension but the have value sustainablity our society

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses both sides of the question and gives a clear position: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The disadvantages are relevant, including healthcare costs, pensions and a smaller workforce; the advantages include passing on cultural knowledge, helping with childcare and sharing experience. The Pakistan example adds useful support. This meets the task well, and the position is clear in the introduction and conclusion. To make the argument more fully developed, explain the effects of your examples—for instance, how family childcare benefits society beyond saving money, or how older people’s experience can contribute economically. The final claim about their value to society is relevant but remains general. The response meets the required length; 22 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages and a conclusion. The contrast between “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” helps readers follow the main argument, and the ideas within each body paragraph are generally grouped by topic. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “In addition” introduces the workforce point, but the following sentences repeat that fewer workers result from retirement. The long advantages paragraph also moves quickly from cultural teaching to childcare, experience and household management without enough explanation or clear separation. Use more precise referencing and transitions, and organise each paragraph around fewer, developed points to make progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “healthcare,” “pension,” “culture,” “tradition,” “experience” and “decision making.” The examples also show an attempt to express ideas beyond basic statements. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices, word forms and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “tax collectors” for people who pay tax, “monthly household item provide,” and “older people are more benefical.” Repetition of “older people” and “government” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling and word forms; clearer expressions such as “tax revenue,” “provide household support” and “valuable to society” would make your meaning more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect structure in “as a result” and a clause beginning “when their parent…”. This allows you to express reasons and consequences, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to follow. Examples include “older people need more healthcare service” and “the number of working people decrese,” where plural forms and subject–verb agreement need attention. Several sentences also lack clear boundaries or punctuation, particularly the long sentence beginning “Older people help the family.” Practise accurate articles, plurals, verb forms and sentence punctuation, then build longer sentences from correctly controlled clauses.

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