Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays in numerous societies people are having longer life than before. Some individuals argue that many older people can be the cause of many problems for governments. However, other believe that they are beneficial for the society. I agree with this notion because older people have more expriences than younger ones. The advantages of having aging population are more than disadvantages.

On one hand, starting with the major benefits of having aging society. Older people are the best teachers to teach about the traditions and cultures rather than books. They teach by their paractical experiences.They have faced many types of hurdles in their whole life and they well know how to deal with them. As a result, the younger individuals already know how to deal with problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear position: “The advantages of having aging population are more than disadvantages,” and you give a relevant benefit by explaining that older people can pass on traditions and practical knowledge. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it does not explain the disadvantages raised in the question or compare them with the benefits, and the single benefit is not developed with a specific example. The required minimum length is not met, which leaves major parts of the argument and conclusion absent. To strengthen the response, discuss at least one government-related challenge, explain why the benefits outweigh it, and support both sides with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic overall shape: an introduction gives your view, followed by a paragraph beginning “On one hand” that introduces a benefit. Linking expressions such as “However” and “As a result” help show contrast and consequence. However, the progression is limited because the response ends before developing the argument or presenting a conclusion, and there is no paragraph addressing the opposing view. The opening phrase “On one hand” also signals a contrast that is never completed with a corresponding “on the other hand” discussion. Organise the essay into clear paragraphs for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, and use references that make the links between ideas explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “traditions,” “cultures,” “practical experiences,” and “hurdles,” and the meaning is generally understandable. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “aging population” and “beneficial.” However, several choices or forms are inaccurate or awkward, including “having longer life,” “expriences,” “paractical,” and “the society.” Repetition of “older people” and “problems” also limits the range. Aim for more natural collocations and accurate spelling, and use topic-specific terms such as “life expectancy,” “elderly citizens,” and “pressure on public services” to express a wider range of ideas precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, for example, “They have faced many types of hurdles in their whole life and they well know how to deal with them.” Most sentences communicate a recognisable idea, but grammatical control is uneven. In “other believe,” the subject and verb do not agree; “the advantages of having aging population” is missing an article; and “they well know” has an awkward adverb position. The sentence beginning “On one hand, starting with…” is also a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Practise checking agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure, then vary your sentences with accurate subordinate clauses to make the reasoning clearer.

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