Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is now widely believed in many nations that citizen currently alive much longer than previous time.

few people think living a long life is a burden for the authority while other told it is beneficial . In my opinion ,I think having the old generation people makes difficulties for the officials in many ways. Such as , Government need to invest more money in free healthcare and they need to create oldaged home for maintain their daily life. Beside , If we can utilize their experience properly it can help us in so different ways .

First of all, having elderly people can create advantage in the society . They saw the world much more than us which is not only make them experienced but also they have enough knowledge . As a result in any situation we can use their expertise for solve this issue.

In contrast , Older citizen put some disadvantages on the Govermnet. A large portion from the yearly budget goes to healthcare section . Though it is important to give them proper support , it makes shortage in other important sector. For example , In Japan , Government keep 9% of their annual budget on healthcare for providing free medical support where in education the anual budget is only 6%. as a result,

it is difficult for them to provide free education to the students.

Also, Government need to make oldaged home where they can live and eat without any cost. Sometimes family members doesn't have enough time to take care of them so they prefer a specilized home where elderly people can live peacefully without any hassle. As a result Goverment need to invest time and manpower to support them .

In conclusion, having elderly people in our society is blessing for us . We can use their knowledge and expertise but it create burden for the Government as they need extra budget for free heathcare and manpower support to maintain their life .So in my opinion having them in the society have more disadvantege than the advantage .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: the conclusion says the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, while the body recognises the value of older people’s knowledge and experience. The discussion of government spending on healthcare and support services is relevant, and the Japan example attempts to illustrate the pressure on public budgets. However, the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says older people create difficulties, but also suggests their experience can help “in so different ways,” without clarifying how this affects your overall judgement. The benefits paragraph is especially brief and general. To strengthen the response, explain a specific contribution older people make and compare its impact directly with the costs you describe; develop the example with clearer, reliable detail as well.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate discussion of benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow the main contrast, and signposts such as “First of all,” “In contrast,” and “In conclusion” make the direction of the argument apparent. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical or unclear. The opening paragraph lists costs and then benefits before the essay has established how these points support the final position. “As a result” is used repeatedly, including where the connection between the example and its consequence needs more explanation. Some references, such as “this issue” and “them,” are broad. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then connect its explanation and example explicitly, using a wider range of linking methods.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “elderly people,” “expertise,” “annual budget,” “healthcare,” and “specialized home,” so the reader can understand the main subject and argument. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “shortage in other important sector.” However, word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are often inaccurate or awkward, which makes the language less natural: “oldaged home,” “free heathcare,” “citizen,” and “burden for the authority” are examples. Some expressions are vague or repetitive, particularly “in so different ways” and repeated references to “support.” Build accuracy by learning common topic collocations and checking spelling and word forms; choose precise terms for public services and older people’s contributions rather than relying on broad phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional clause (“If we can utilize their experience properly…”) and a concession beginning “Though it is important…”. These attempts show some range, and the central meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur across the response. For example, “citizen currently alive much longer” lacks a complete, correctly formed clause, while “Government need” and “family members doesn't” show agreement problems. The sentence beginning “As a result” after the Japan comparison is left incomplete, and several sentences are joined or punctuated awkwardly. Practise building complete sentences with accurate subject–verb agreement, and review articles and sentence boundaries. More reliable control of these patterns would make your complex ideas easier to follow.

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