Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Numerous countries, indiviuals are now living longer than even before. several residents believe that older citizens creates issues for public officer. majority population think that there are many advantages if society has many elder residents. From my prospective, the drawback espacially, econoy problems, government spend too much money on health outweigh the positive aspects like better solution of society issues.

when the society have many elder individuals they give the better ideas to solve the society issues. This is because they feel relax. For example, a town have some difficulty of water supply and the adults do not find the solution of this issue then the old people give him a useful ideas. As a result, they can solve the difficulty easily.

However, there are two main disadvantage when the country have too much elder population. Firstly, elder citizens do not work as compare the young gernation, because they have no energy to work hard and the body not allow to work 6 to 8 hours. As a result, the country have economy problem. In addition, government spend too much money on hospital compare to education, road and buildings. This is because older generation have many disease as comapre to childern and adults. For example government officer spend a lot of money on health programs because they have a large number of aging population in their country. As a result, they do not spend money eduation and road.

In conclusion, Majorty of society residents believe that old people create problems for government and some people opinion that elder adults have many benefits. As far as I am concered, the drawback, like econoy problems, government spend too much money on health outweigh the positive aspects, espacially better solution of society issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view: you argue that the disadvantages, especially economic pressure and public health spending, outweigh the benefit of older people’s experience. You also address both sides and include an example about resolving a town’s water-supply problem. However, the response only partially develops the task. The benefit is supported by one brief, hypothetical example, and the disadvantages are asserted rather than explained in depth; for instance, you do not show how a larger retired population affects the workforce or public budgets beyond saying that governments spend more on hospitals. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a relevant, specific example, and make the comparison between the benefits and costs more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about a benefit, a paragraph about disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “As a result,” and “In addition” help signal relationships between ideas. Overall, the reader can follow your position, but progression is sometimes mechanical, and some references are unclear. In the water-supply example, “they give him a useful ideas” makes it difficult to identify who “him” refers to. The conclusion repeats the introduction rather than drawing together the comparison. Use clearer pronouns, connect each example directly to its main point, and vary transitions so that the argument develops rather than simply listing claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “aging population,” “health programs,” “economy problem,” and “water supply,” so the subject is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, word-form, and spelling errors make parts of the response difficult to read. Examples include “public officer” for government or public services, “better solution of society issues,” and repeated misspellings such as “econoy,” “spacially,” and “childern.” Some expressions, such as “feel relax,” do not convey the intended meaning naturally. Build a bank of accurate phrases for ageing, employment, pensions, and public spending, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including explanations with “because” and result clauses beginning “As a result.” This gives the response some structural variety, but control is inconsistent: errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout and sometimes make meaning unclear. For example, “when the society have many elder individuals” should use a singular verb, while “a town have” and “government spend” also show agreement problems. In “the body not allow to work,” the verb phrase is incomplete. Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and complete clauses before adding extra detail. Careful editing for articles and plural forms would also make your ideas easier to follow.

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