Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
According to this people think nowadays long live is commonly observed as compared with the past .So, longer living people are beneficial for the society and governament or they burden.
To begin with this fact that there is no doubt that people in the past were not living long as todays people are have that much age . As its fast paced society, an advance era of technology due to that people are much more facilitated comparetively in past .For example ,japan and china people the percentage of the aging people are more then their young people.Both countries are well established and providing all best facilities to their all age group people but aged people have little bit more in sense of healthcare . In addision, all governaments and societies creates beneficial strategies for accomodating their aged people . Therefore, 65 plus ageing people live long
On the other hand , if we talk about those countries who are developed or under developed countries where technology is available facilities they tried to give their all age group people especially in healthcare sector but still not managable for them . As they have lots of other issues which they are coping with them and finding the solution by both levels eigther governament or society .Such as Develop countries like Pakistan ,india Bangladesh etc .So ,in that case yes it is a problem how to tackle with this age group people.
In conclusion,both sides or opinions are valid but its the beauti and intellectuality of governament and society that they tackle this problem with a solution
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the aging population, but the position is not clearly defined or maintained throughout the essay. While the student mentions both benefits and problems, the argument lacks depth and specific evidence. The examples provided, such as mentioning Japan, China, and Pakistan, are somewhat confusingly presented and do not clearly support a coherent argument regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion is vague and does not summarize a clear stance. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your overall position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is often difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand', but they are often used mechanically or incorrectly, which disrupts the flow. For example, the transition between the discussion of developed countries and the mention of Pakistan and India is abrupt and lacks a clear logical link. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought. More varied and accurate linking words are needed to improve the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'long live is commonly observed' instead of 'increased life expectancy' and 'beauti and intellectuality' instead of 'wisdom and capability'. The student struggles to express complex ideas due to a restricted range of vocabulary. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to demographics and social issues, and practice using more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on basic, conversational phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'societies creates'), incorrect sentence structure (e.g., 'people in the past were not living long as todays people are have that much age'), and missing articles or prepositions. The range of structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and reducing the frequency of errors in simple sentences before attempting more complex structures.
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