Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people believe that an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. The advantages of this view outweighs the disadvantages.

For people who say aging people are a benefit to the society they do so because elderly people have lived an entire life with a variety of experiences. In those experiences they have made numerous decisions which have helped them to think through life wisely over the years. Having such experienced people in our society can be really beneficial as they can help making intelligent decisions on the basis of their experience. I remember my uncle once needed to invest some money for his children's future when we were kids. He was very confused whether where to invest then he asked in father who was around 60 years old. His father told him to buy some land in very remote area of our city. My uncle was very confused by the suggestion as he though that land could be of no value in future but ultimately he bought that land and now after around 10-15 years he was in need of money and when he asked the selling price of the land he bought years ago he was shocked to see that selling price would solve all his current money issue and also save some for his children. So his father experience led to him to make such a wise financial decision.

People also think this way that elderly people will be a burden on the governments. That could be in such a way that government has to manage more population of elderly people in old age homes and also have to manage their care centres which will be populated with the elderly people. In this way this could be a burden on the government. But I think most people can live solely on themselves as in Japan more population is of elderly people and they managed their lifestyle such that in old age too they are very healthy to live their own life themselves.

In conclusion, the benefits of having elderly people in the society clearly outweighs the disadvantages it can have for the governments as explained above.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt and maintained a clear position throughout the essay. The argument is supported by a personal anecdote, which is relevant, though the development of the 'disadvantages' side is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, ensure that both sides of the argument are explored with equal depth. For instance, while you mention the burden on government, you could expand on the economic implications of a shrinking workforce or the strain on healthcare systems to provide a more balanced and comprehensive analysis of the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In conclusion' and 'For people who say', to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and transition phrases to connect your ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that referencing is precise; for example, in the second paragraph, the transition between the general point about wisdom and the specific story about your uncle could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'aging population' and 'financial decision'. However, there are instances where word choice could be more precise or sophisticated. For example, phrases like 'live solely on themselves' or 'manage more population' are slightly unnatural. Increasing your use of less common collocations and more academic phrasing will help elevate your score. Focus on using more precise verbs and adjectives to convey your points with greater impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are recurring grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader, such as subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'The advantages... outweighs' should be 'outweigh') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'he asked in father'). There are also some minor punctuation and preposition errors. To improve, focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately. Increasing the variety of your sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will help you reach a higher band.

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