Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In resent year,In many nation,Individual are living longer as compar to past time.Althought,Few human think that tha present ganration are creates some problems for politicain.However,Other people believe that oldre people are live in society this are more useful for all.Elderly people have lots off expirans that can aslo halpful for younger people.In my prespactive,it is a advantager for children as wall as young.

There are tha plethora of reason why i favour to.primarliy,Elder people are teach to medievel idea and customs that can show our traditions.In another words,Children take various typs of knowladge for them older aslo that have a lot of expirison such as finacence,business that can help to teenager people.Secondly,Older teach batter skills to how becoming good member off society and conecte with other people.For exampal,Elder are told how he/she arrive form hard condistion.How do smart work rather hard work.

In other hand,Thare are various typs of disadvantage for elder.Firstly,All tha oldre people beheviour are irriatated so some younger has not comfatable with this thoes.That can in house atmostpers are totaly full of fight and can not feel peace.Some time tha oldre said that do thair family members and its not batter feel to other.Its can bad effect on society.For instsnt,Some familys childre have get freedom but thair elder has not acsepted thair so childre becoming more angrai beheviour.

To canculation,Its is evident that tha,some houses are nor requir to live with oldre person because this are feeling destrectiv and crowed.While some learns argue that oldre creates most important roll in society and familiery that can batter growth to children impact on mind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention the benefits of elderly experience and the potential for family conflict, the arguments are often underdeveloped and lack specific, well-explained examples. The position is clear, but the supporting points are somewhat repetitive and rely on generalizations. To improve, focus on expanding each point with a clear explanation of 'why' or 'how' these issues impact society, rather than just stating them. Ensure that your conclusion directly addresses the extent to which one side outweighs the other.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate (e.g., 'In another words', 'To canculation'). There are instances where the logical progression between sentences is weak, making it difficult to follow the flow of your argument. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when using pronouns like 'this' or 'that' without a clear antecedent. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words correctly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to your main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are frequent spelling errors throughout the text (e.g., 'resent', 'expirans', 'knowladge', 'canculation'), which occasionally make it difficult to understand your meaning. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with word choice and collocation (e.g., 'politicain' instead of 'government', 'medievel idea' instead of 'traditional values'). To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and social issues, and pay closer attention to the correct spelling and usage of common academic words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Individual are living', 'Elderly people are live'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or contain awkward phrasing that impedes communication. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading your work to correct common errors in tense and pluralization.

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