Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
It is irrefutable that elder people, in the neoteric era, has been considered as the most valuable asset for any family. Some sections of the society perceive that more proportion of elder people in a country create difficulties for governors, while others opine that elder people can bring numerous benefits to the society. The advantages of having elder people in society outweigh the disadvantages to a large extent.
Embarking on, elder people are treasure of cultural and morale values. Owing to their knowledge about certain culture, they can help their progeny to stay connected with their roots. They often preserve cultural values, family traditions, and historical knowledge. For instance, they can preserve stories, traditions, and knowledge that might otherwise be lost. Another important point is that they have more experience of life. They cannot only help to make wise decisions but can also guide younger generations by sharing lessons and encouragement. Consequently, by passing on cultural values and by providing emotional support , older generation can boon the society.
Nevertheless, they are some disadvantages associated with this notion. The predominant one is having an aging population can creates problems for government. Government has to allocate more funds in order to provide benefits to elder people. To exemplify, more funding will be required for pension plans and more money will be needed to gave retirement related benefits. It can divert the funding from more important aspects such as child education, infrastructure development and health incentives and can leave the country underdeveloped.
To recapitulate, although having an aging population have some drawbacks such as monetary problems, it has enormous other advantages which outweigh the demerits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding cultural preservation and life experience are relevant, though they could be further extended with more specific real-world examples to reach a higher band. The discussion of the disadvantages is also relevant, focusing on economic strain. The ideas are generally well-developed, but the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the 'extent' to which the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as the conclusion is somewhat brief. Overall, the response is focused and directly answers the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Nevertheless', 'To exemplify', and 'To recapitulate' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition 'Embarking on' is an unconventional choice for starting a paragraph. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear, and the structure supports the overall argument effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items like 'neoteric', 'progeny', and 'boon'. However, there are some issues with collocation and word choice. For example, 'boon the society' is not a standard usage, and 'elder people' is less natural than 'the elderly' or 'older people'. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'creates problems' instead of 'create problems' after 'can'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the precision and natural collocation required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('elder people... has been considered', 'having an aging population can creates problems') and minor prepositional or article errors. While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. The student attempts complex structures, but the control over them is inconsistent. To improve, the student should focus on subject-verb agreement and ensuring that modal verbs are followed by the correct verb forms (e.g., 'can create' instead of 'can creates').
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