Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In the contemporary era, people's life expectancy has been increased significantly. People have different opinions, whether the aging population is creating problems for the governments, or adding benefits to the society. From my point view, aging population adding more values in the society if they were in the more value adding professions.
First and foremost, aging population is the main pillars of a country. By using their merits and labor every developed nation built their economic growth, social growth, and overall prosperity of their country. For example, i can talk about the prof. Yonus from Bangladesh, who is a nobel prize winner . He solved the mirco economics problem in our country by involving women into small scaling business. Moreover, his economic model also applied in some African's countries to reduce the poverty. Having said that, a mechanical engineer's life is also a great example of how their still adding values in our daily life. For instance, i can talk about the current 'Hypercar' industry leader 'Cristian Von Koenigsegg's life. He is old enough, still he is trying to come up with different kinds of solutions to make the overall experience of the car more efficient. He produced more than 600HP from a three pistons engine. Which is the highest for a production oriented car. Moreover, there are old doctors in my country who are trying to come up various kind of medical research papers to solve many diseases.
Going towards the second school of thoughts, there are some disadvantages of having elderly people too. Japan is the prime of example of how elderly people are affecting the overall efficiency of a government. There are now too many elderly people that they are currently suffering from youth population. As a result, their overall productivity is going down.
To sum up, i would like say that there many reasons to support the argument that the advantages of having aging population outweigh the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph provides specific examples (Professor Yunus, Koenigsegg), the second paragraph regarding the disadvantages is quite brief and lacks depth, failing to fully explore the economic or social implications mentioned. The conclusion is also very abrupt. To reach a higher band, ensure that the counter-argument is developed with the same level of detail as the main argument, and provide a more comprehensive summary of the main points to reinforce your position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'To sum up', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. There are minor issues with referencing and flow; for instance, the sentence 'There are now too many elderly people that they are currently suffering from youth population' is confusing and lacks clear logical connection to the preceding sentence. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the final paragraph is underdeveloped, which impacts the overall cohesion of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'life expectancy', 'economic growth', and 'production oriented'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'adding more values in the society' (should be 'adding more value to society') and 'prime of example' (should be 'prime example'). Some phrasing is slightly awkward, which limits the range of vocabulary to a level that is sufficient but not particularly precise or sophisticated.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('aging population is the main pillars'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'i' should be capitalized). Some sentences are structurally flawed, such as 'Which is the highest for a production oriented car', which is a sentence fragment. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with grammatical accuracy.
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