Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Longer life span of people is gaining popularity these days and this situation has generated plethora of pros and cons. This essay will describe the negative as well as the positive effects of people living longer than before.

To commence with, there are numerous predominant factors, which suggest that there are more benefits of elderely people. To elaborate, elder people can be able to share their experience and give advises with their younger ones in terms of the work and also in life situations. Besides this, they can spend more time with their grandchildren. In this manner they can guide them for their future and be with them in every life situations of their grandchildren. In addition, they can help to scholars who are new in their field and job. For example, if a schloar is entering in a new company for a job, elder and experienced people should be present for their help in a every possible way to clear their obstacles.

Nevertheless, there are some undeniable minus points of longer life span of people in modern generation. The most visible con is that, they get burdened on their family. Older people must have to do any kind of work at any age of their life, if they do not work so that it becomes very hard task to take care of them at home. Moreover, people who are 60 years old and more than that should not have any kind of diseases. As we know that there are many communicable disease that can harm their family members and locals too.

In conclusion, the aforementioned paragraphs clearly show the significance of elderly people in our society and how demerits are eclipsed by its merits. Therefore, as per above paragraphs, there are lot of advantages of elderly people in our society over disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the pros and cons of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally illogical. For instance, the claim that elderly people should work at any age to avoid being a burden is a sweeping generalization that lacks nuance. Furthermore, the argument regarding communicable diseases among the elderly is factually questionable and detracts from the quality of the response. While a position is stated, the supporting arguments are not fully extended or convincing. To improve, focus on providing more logical, well-reasoned arguments that directly address the societal impact of aging populations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed; for example, the jump from grandchildren to workplace mentoring in the second paragraph lacks a smooth connection. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'gaining popularity' to describe life expectancy, 'elderely' (spelling error), 'give advises' (incorrect noun form), and 'schloar' (spelling error). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise collocations and academic vocabulary, and ensure that you proofread for basic spelling and word-form errors, which currently occur frequently enough to occasionally distract the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('elder people can be able to'), incorrect pluralization ('advise' instead of 'advice'), and awkward phrasing ('in a every possible way'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar structures limits the clarity of the writing. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without losing grammatical control.

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