Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, average life span of people is increased and it is creates a great depression for the government. It is argued by some sectors of society that the enlargement in the average life of people is a good trend, while others argue that it creates unbearable and massive problems for the government. Both arguments have their own importance and benefits. But, I acknowledge that the latter view is more crucial and practical.

As far as, I am concerned the increase in average span of a person has created great concerns around the globe and also for the governments. In context to this previously average of people was less than fifty year and population was also not a concern, the food and resources were enough, but now the demand in other words resources are less while consumers are more.

In the past time great famines occurs which wipe out 50% of the population of the world. In this way population was sustained. With the development in sciences the life of a person has increased and ultimately cause various problems such as the governments has to spend great GDPs' share on pensions rather than investing in transport, health department and education. For instance, in France the national debt has reached 113% of the economy and the French government spends 14% of its GDP merely on pensions.

Moreover, the increase in population also affects living standards of people such as, the consumers of resources has increased while the numbers of resources declined with the development of urban areas. People are enforced to live in congested houses, no enough reservoirs of clean water available, the depression on health department because the department has to spend more on elder people's health than younger ones.

In conclusion, despite the valid arguments placed by opponents regarding benefits of elder people, I am still convinced my view has overarching benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt by acknowledging both sides of the argument and clearly stating a position. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic burden of pensions and resource scarcity. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the example of France is specific and relevant, other points, such as the mention of historical famines, are less focused on the core issue of an aging population. The conclusion is a bit vague, as it refers to 'overarching benefits' without clearly summarizing the main points made in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure that every paragraph directly supports the central thesis with consistent, logical development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'In conclusion', and 'For instance', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the flow between sentences is occasionally interrupted by awkward phrasing (e.g., 'In context to this previously average of people was less than fifty year'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother. The structure is functional, but it lacks the sophisticated, flexible use of cohesive devices required for higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'national debt', 'GDP', and 'resources'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'enlargement in the average life' instead of 'increase in life expectancy' and 'great depression for the government' which is used incorrectly here. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited. Improving precision and using more natural collocations would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('it is creates', 'famines occurs'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction ('In context to this previously average of people was less than fifty year'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes (e.g., 'GDPs''). These errors are noticeable and occur frequently, though they do not completely impede communication. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be beneficial.

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