Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays in many countries People are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an over age population creates Problems for governments. Other People think there are benifits if society has more elderly people.
On the one hand, each and every nations humans are living longer because because they used with it, and peoples are were born in their country so they more con connected with their culture and sometimes peoples are educated and more serious about their health and they moreover nowadays every People are more serious about their bealthy lifestyle than ratherthan younger People they know how to stay fit.
On the other hand other People reckon that aging concern are increased day by day and it had creates more Problems for goverment, Some Countries Provide free health care system for old age People. For example in Poland their health care system and government keep raising fund of old age People so they can used for better lifestyle and Providing good quality of standards. Aging Population creates Problems like goverment have to Provide benefits to old age People so its creat more financial problem.
Other People think if society have more elderly people so they can keep there traditioner value and their culture and oldage People have more experienced in their life so they can guides you properly.
To recapitulate, unexplainable, and abundant, contradiction is the inherent nature of the world. Everything under the sun has pros and cons. However after looking at the above points i firmly believe that old age people are more important for the country because they guide peoples on right direction and they keep their traditional and culture for long time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'traditional values' is mentioned but not sufficiently supported with specific examples or logical depth. The position is clear in the conclusion, but the overall response lacks the analytical rigor required for higher bands. The points made are somewhat superficial, and the connection between the aging population and government financial strain is stated rather than fully explored.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay uses basic paragraphing, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak. While transition signals like 'On the one hand' and 'To recapitulate' are present, they are often used mechanically or inappropriately, such as the confusing opening to the conclusion: 'unexplainable, and abundant, contradiction is the inherent nature of the world.' The flow of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of logical progression between sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument consistently.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'problems' and 'people'. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'over age population' instead of 'aging population' and 'traditioner value' instead of 'traditional values'. Spelling errors, such as 'benifits' and 'bealthy', are frequent. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision, which restricts the ability to convey nuanced arguments effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it had creates'), incorrect verb tenses, and run-on sentences. The use of complex structures is attempted but often results in errors, such as 'because because they used with it'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with random capitalization of words like 'People' and 'Problems'. The majority of sentences contain errors, and the range of structures is limited to simple or poorly constructed complex sentences.
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