Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Nowadays, people living longer due to the better health care. In mostly countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people believe that an aging population creates many problems for government. While some people think there are many benefits for our society. I will discuss the both benefits and disadvantages.
On the one hand, it has many drawbacks that elder people living longer. Firstly, government faces many challenges because of this. The government have spend more money on their mansion and healthcare services. If people live longer they use medical service and long-term treatment which increase the expenditure of government. Secondly, larger population of elder people means smaller working people. Its make difficult for the government to provide public service.
On the other hand, it has some benefits if elder people live in our society. Older people make valuable contribution to society. Older people have experienced to guide the youngers. In addition, grandparents take care of the children and allow their parents to focus on their career. Furthermore, older people also contribute the social development because they have experience.
to conclude with, in my opinion people live longer has many benefits for our society. They guide us in our work. They have experience to contribute in our society. Some people believe that an older people creates problem for government. Some people think there are benefits for our society. The people living longer has some advantages and also some drawbacks. The advantages of having an aging population outweigh on the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, including the advantages and disadvantages, and provides a clear position in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about 'mansion' (likely meaning pensions) is underdeveloped, and the arguments regarding social contributions are repetitive. The essay would benefit from more specific examples or deeper analysis to move beyond general statements. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments lack the depth required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' are used to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are issues with referencing and logical flow. For instance, the concluding paragraph repeats the prompt's introduction rather than synthesising the main points effectively. The progression of ideas is generally logical, but the transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision expected at higher levels. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as using 'mansion' instead of 'pensions' and 'youngers' instead of 'younger generations'. The repetition of basic phrases like 'people live longer' and 'older people' limits the lexical variety. To improve, you should focus on using more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetitive phrasing and to demonstrate a broader command of the English language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'In mostly countries' (should be 'In most countries'), 'The government have spend' (subject-verb agreement and tense error), and 'Its make difficult' (should be 'It makes it difficult'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will significantly improve your accuracy.
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