Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I am writing to express the advantages and drawbacks of living longer than ever before. According to views of some people that aging of population creates problems for governments.while other believes that they are benefits if the society has more elderly people.

Firstly i am elaborating the advantages of having elderly people they have experienced of living life .they have much knowledge about the things happening in life.they have more fresh food that made their life span more longer. A healthy life have a longer life

If i talked about elderly people in professional life they have much experience then a new young person.they know how to tackle customer.they have ability to understand the situation while listening them first.i am giving a live example that customer get annoyed with bank policy that employee had not informed abour credit card fee before.when he applied and received the card an amount of 10000 deducted in the favour of fee.he was shocked he cane to bank and start shouted.then our manager have age 55 came to him and have sit him and listening him carefully and then make an arrangement for reversal of fee.he first listen his complaint then resolve issue.but as per young generation knowledge they get oanic of someone's shouting they dont inquire and will suggest or reffer to somen.

In contrast to this situation aging population may creates problems for governments because there may be shortage of food if the population increase.standard of living may be reduced.if they are more people then supply an ddemand also effect.their thinking style could be different its difficult to understand AI tools that may b easier for young one.

In my opinion i summarize this that both factors could have a benefits and drawbacks. Finally i conclude that young people have more advanced thing to use to elaborate their work.they will be more energetic than elderly one.they will be more focused towards work.

If the population are low they have more standard of living.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the position is not clearly maintained throughout the essay. While you provide a personal example regarding a bank manager, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial and lacks depth. The conclusion is slightly contradictory, as it focuses on the benefits of young people rather than synthesizing the arguments regarding the aging population. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your central thesis and provides more balanced, analytical reasoning rather than anecdotal evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by disjointed sentences and a lack of effective cohesive devices. Transitions between ideas are often missing or mechanical, such as the abrupt shift in the second paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly with the use of pronouns like 'they' and 'he' without clear antecedents. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'on the other hand') to connect your ideas more fluidly and improve the overall structure of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'problems', and 'things', which restricts your ability to express complex ideas precisely. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'make their life span more longer' and 'get oanic'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of variety and the presence of errors in collocation and word formation prevent a higher score. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic and topic-specific terminology would significantly enhance your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'a healthy life have'), incorrect tense usage, and missing articles. Sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain punctuation errors or run-on structures, such as 'he cane to bank and start shouted'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for basic punctuation and capitalization is also essential.

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