Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many nations, some individuals say an aging population is creating the issues for government, other people argue there are benefits if society has more elderly people. In this essay, I will discuss my opinion about the elderly peoples and give the advantages and disadvantages with some suitable examples.
On the first hand, elderly peoples have a lot of experience about the life and know about everything very well. When adult's men face the issues during the work then elderly peoples share the experience with and then young individuals easily manage problems and grow in the business. Mostly the parents work together in the office, and children leave in the house and then need a person to take care of them, and elderly peoples play a big role and take care of children and play game with and create the opportunities for learning new things. For example, in chine all peoples are working like women and men, then small young children face the problems in home.
On the other hand, majority of the elderly people surface from the disease and create the issues for the governments and offspring. Governments need to build new hospital for the elderly peoples and spend the large amount of money for this purpose and fall down economy. Furthermore, they do not do any work and put the weight on the offspring, then children increase the timing work and do not feel any relaxation in life. For instance, the German government build the separate hostel for the elderly peoples and put the peoples after the 50 age.
In conclusion, some people say an aging population creates the problems for government, and other people think that there are many benefits of elderly peoples. According to me elderly peoples play a vital role for learning the new thing.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited. For example, the argument regarding elderly people helping with childcare is relevant but lacks depth and is supported by a vague, slightly confusing example about China. The conclusion is also weak, as it does not clearly state your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which is a requirement of the prompt. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument that directly answers the 'to what extent' aspect of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the first hand' (should be 'On the one hand') and 'In conclusion' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is often disjointed. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'young individuals easily manage problems and grow in the business,' where the connection to the previous clause is weak. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the ideas flow more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'surface from the disease' (likely meaning 'suffer from diseases') and 'fall down economy' (likely meaning 'economic decline'). The repetition of 'elderly peoples' (which should be 'elderly people' or 'the elderly') also limits the lexical score. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more academic vocabulary, such as 'financial burden' instead of 'put the weight on the offspring'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors, such as 'children leave in the house' (should be 'live') and 'German government build the separate hostel' (should be 'built' or 'builds'). Subject-verb agreement and pluralization errors are frequent, such as 'elderly peoples' and 'adult's men'. These errors occur throughout the text and occasionally cause the reader to pause to understand the intended meaning. Increasing the variety of complex structures and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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