Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In contemporary society, due to advancement in technology and innovation in medical field people are living more compared to past. Some individuals contend that aging population has created major problems for the government. Other people argue that having older people is substantial beneficial for humanity. Therefore, the reasons and relevant examples discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, population is a pressing issue for society as well as the government and it creates various obstacles for citizens. First and foremost, the government requires more resources for managing different sectors like education, healthcare and many more. Consequently, public face a lot of problems related to services in different sectors and people may not access hospitality. For example, if the government have not adequate funds for education, then student would not experience standard level of education and they cannot accomplish their goal.

Conversely, some Individuals believe that older people are play a crucial role in society. Firstly, senior citizens have more life experience than the other age group of people, thus they are main and important persons in humanity because they have knowledge about career, culture, and tradition, hence they can pass these information to future generation and this cycle is never ended throughout the years. In addition, some older people can provide financial stability and helpful in household chore.

To sum up, although population is increasing because of advancement into healthcare, having elderly people is more beneficial for society as well as family such as preserve our tradition and culture, access of life experience and financial stability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the position is not clearly stated in the introduction; you mention that you will discuss reasons and examples, but you do not explicitly state whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, which is a requirement of the prompt. The ideas are relevant but remain somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'financial stability' provided by the elderly is not fully explained or supported with a clear example. To improve, ensure your thesis statement clearly answers the 'to what extent' question and develop your supporting points with more depth and specific, real-world illustrations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Conversely', and 'In addition'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the logical progression is weak. For example, the final sentence of the introduction is a fragment ('Therefore, the reasons and relevant examples discussed in the following paragraphs'), which disrupts the flow. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to track the connection between ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You use some repetitive phrasing, such as 'different sectors' and 'people', and there are minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'substantial beneficial' instead of 'substantially beneficial' and 'access hospitality' which is unclear in this context. To reach a higher band, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations related to the topic of demographics and social policy. Avoid over-relying on basic words and try to incorporate more academic terminology to express your ideas with greater nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the government have not adequate funds'), article usage ('the public face a lot of problems'), and verb forms ('older people are play a crucial role'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically checking for subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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