Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowdays many people live for a long time due to imrovements in healthcare and living standard. Some individuals believe that it has negative effect on government, while others argue that society can be benefited if they live longer.
This essay will discuss why i believe that advantages are greater than disadvantages because experienced older people provides a significant value on society and workplace.
On the one hand, Since older people suffer from numerous chronic diseases frequently, goverments need to spend more money on them to provide better health care system. Which demands more nurses and doctor to ensure their treatment. Morever, older citizents receive a significant proportion of money, as a result governments may need to increase taxes. Consequently, it becomes a financial burden for the lower income people. For instance, Japan and Itally have ageing population and facing rising healthcare and pension expenses.
On the other hand, older people may provide significant contribution by mentoring youngster, as they are more experienced, which will increase the productivity of a company. For example, a retired engineer can train junior employee. Additionally, grandparents may look after their grandchildren, while their parents working. This will reduce the cost of childcare center, and strengthen the family relationships. They may involve in community project as volunteer. In addition, they can support charities and local communities.
In conclusion, although governments may need to face several financial challenges for having more older people in society, but their significant cooperation in society, home and workplace brings more benefits. Therefore, i firmly believe that, the advantages of having more older people outweigh its disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the mention of Japan and Italy regarding economic burdens, and the role of grandparents in childcare. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat brief. To reach a higher band, you could expand on the 'mentoring' point by explaining the long-term economic impact of knowledge transfer, rather than just stating it increases productivity. The position is consistent throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Additionally', and 'Consequently' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and sentence flow, such as the sentence fragment 'Which demands more nurses and doctor to ensure their treatment.' Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences are complete would enhance the flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'chronic diseases', 'financial burden', and 'mentoring'. However, there are several spelling errors ('Nowdays', 'imrovements', 'citizents', 'Itally') and some awkward phrasing, such as 'provide a significant value on society'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of precise collocations. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring accurate spelling of common academic terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('older people provides', 'older citizents receive') and article usage. There is also a sentence fragment in the first body paragraph ('Which demands more nurses...'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the misuse of commas and the occasional run-on sentence affect the overall accuracy. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that every sentence contains a clear subject and a main verb.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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