Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is true that people in many nation are living longer than an usual lifespan than previous generation. This shift has sparked debate about whether it burdens or benefits society.
On the one hand the challenge posed by an aging society are significant and cannot be dismissed. The most pressing issue is the growing financial burden, healthcare and pension system. As the proportion of retiree rises relative to young population, government must allocate increasingly large budgets to pension, medical care often funded by shrinking tax base. Japan illustrates the problem clearly; citizen aged sixty-five or older, the country faces mounting healthcare cost along with shortage of workers to sustain economic growth.
On the other hand, older citizen contributes sustainable benefits that are often overlooked. Firstly, they represent accumulated knowledge and professional expertise that younger workers lack. Many elderly individual continue to mentor, consult, volunteer valuable skills to the next generation. Secondly, grandparents frequently provide informal childcare, allowing parents to remain in the workplace and reducing stress.
In my opinion the benefits of aging population outweighs the challenges it brings. I have seen this firsthand within my own family where my grand-parents presence allowed my parents continue working without the added expense in professional childcare. Government that invest in flexible employment for older workers and medical healthcare are best to convert this demographic shift into net benefit.
In my conclusion, although an aging population creates undeniable labour pressure, the wisdom, the caregiving support and social stability that older generations provide represent the advantage.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the benefits of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. Your ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of Japan and the role of grandparents in childcare. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more fully developed. For instance, while you mention the financial burden on governments, you could elaborate on specific policy solutions or the long-term economic impact of a shrinking workforce to provide more depth to your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Firstly', and 'In my conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument. However, the flow is occasionally interrupted by minor mechanical errors in referencing and sentence structure. For example, the transition between the discussion of Japan and the subsequent paragraph could be smoother. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and contributes to a clear progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision, using terms like 'demographic shift', 'accumulated knowledge', and 'professional expertise'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'people in many nation' (should be 'nations') and 'medical healthcare' (redundant). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, these occasional errors prevent a higher score. Focusing on more natural collocations will help improve your lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for the task. However, there are frequent minor errors in grammar, such as missing articles ('the healthcare cost'), subject-verb agreement issues ('older citizen contributes'), and pluralization errors ('my grand-parents presence'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Increasing your focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with plurals and articles, would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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