Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Despite all the scientific developments and technology revolutionization, no individual became successful in stopping the ageing process. Some people think that country with a more population of older people can be problematic to for governments, while other people believe ageing population can prove to be more beneficial for the society. What could be the ideal situation for any government? This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of ageing population before expressing my opinion.
Aging population can cause problems for the countries where birth rate is continuously declining and population of elderly people is higher than the younger ones. Due to these reasons, the government has to face a shortage of young workers who can work with much more diligence and hard work. Take Korea as an illustration. There, most of the people are heading towards their last part of an age, and it is an alarming situation for the government since the birth rate is also low. So they have adapted such policies of migration that can help them in facing this alarming situation. No doubt, some of elderly people have worked in government sectors and paid their services to the country, but once they are retired, one portion of budget is specified for their pensions. So more the people of old age, more will be the burden on the government to pay them off.
On the other hand, some people believe that it is good to have experienced people around to teach the younger generations about what they are going to face. According to them, old age people are just like the pillars of some building, providing stability and support to the society.
Nevertheless, I think advantages of having an ageing population do not outweigh the disadvantages because countries with a more population of elderly people may face such challenges, like employment issues, immigration conflicts, and economy fall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, including the advantages and disadvantages, and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the disadvantages (economic burden, labor shortage) are explained with a relevant example, the advantages are addressed very briefly and lack depth. The argument that elderly people are 'pillars' is a good starting point but remains underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical extensions for the benefits of an aging population, such as the value of intergenerational knowledge transfer or the 'silver economy'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Due to these reasons', 'Take Korea as an illustration', and 'On the other hand'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition to the conclusion is abrupt. The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall flow would benefit from a more sophisticated range of linking words to connect the arguments more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are some awkward phrasings, such as 'technology revolutionization' and 'last part of an age'. While you successfully use terms like 'birth rate' and 'government sectors', the overall lexical range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. Avoid repetitive phrasing like 'more population of older people' and try to vary your word choices to demonstrate a more flexible command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'country with a more population' (should be 'a larger population'), 'problematic to for governments', and 'So more the people of old age, more will be the burden'. These errors occasionally distract the reader but do not impede communication. To achieve a higher score, you need to demonstrate better control over complex structures and ensure subject-verb agreement and article usage are more consistent throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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