Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, people are living longer than ever before, and this has resulted in a growing proportion of elderly people in many countries.Although an ageing people can place considerable pressure on government and younger generation.I believe that the benefits of having more elderly people outweigh the disadvantage.
To begin, One major disadvantage of elderly people is financial burden it can place on government.As people get older, they are more likely to require healthcare and financial support, while many of them no longer work and therefore do not pay taxes.Government may have spend longer percentage of their budget on pensions,hospitals and social care.a smaller age working population to have support a retired people.And it created economical difficulties.
However, elderly people can make valuable contributions to society.Many older people have good knowledge and experience that can be passed on younger generations.Retired people can mentor younger people to work on a part time basis.Furthermore, grandparents often provide childcare and emotional support for their families, allowing younger parents to work full time and contribute to economy.An ageing people can also create new employment opportunities in areas such as healthcare,elderly or nursing.They also gave a very secretly advise to their youngest person which is very helpful for them in their future.They advise because they have experience in their life.
In conclusion, although an ageing population can increase government expenditure and put pressure on working population, I believe its advantage are greater.The experience, family support and economic contribution of older people mean that they can continue to play an important role in society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding financial burdens and social contributions are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the point about 'secretly advise' is vague and lacks clear explanation, and the discussion on economic difficulties is slightly underdeveloped. While the position is consistent, the supporting evidence could be more specific to reach a higher band. The essay meets the requirements of the task by presenting both sides and concluding with a clear stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin', 'However', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or awkward, such as the transition between sentences in the second paragraph. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the punctuation of cohesive devices (e.g., 'To begin, One major...') is inconsistent. Overall, the progression of ideas is logical, but the management of cohesive devices could be more flexible and precise.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financial burden', 'government expenditure', and 'employment opportunities'. However, there are several word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'ageing people' instead of 'ageing population', 'secretly advise' instead of 'invaluable advice', and 'economical difficulties' instead of 'economic difficulties'. These errors do not impede communication, but they demonstrate a lack of precision that limits the score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the government', 'the economy'), pluralization ('a retired people'), and sentence fragments ('Although an ageing people can place considerable pressure...'). Some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'a smaller age working population to have support a retired people'. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage is needed.
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