Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Population has become one of the major problems of the world as now people live more as compared to before. Some people think that it had caused Government many issues, but other believed that having elderly people in our society is beneficial. Now a days it is very common to see elderly people in a society. Because of the advanced technology and significant improvements in the field of medicines and surgery has reduced the chances of death because of illness. Because of aging there are more people to eat then before. Increase in the population because of the aging has caused government to allocate more resources towards it. Sometime young people also lost many opportunities. Take an example of job industry in Pakistan where many old people refused to resign which caused less quota employment for the young peoples. The government is also helpless against them because of their service. There is also a positive aspect of having elderly people in the society as they have experienced many upheavals in their lives hence, they guide young people so that they don't repeat the same mistake as them. In this way young people can think more ideas and apply them in the development of society. Take an example of an old teacher, he will stop the children and young people from attracting towards bad habits and make them dedicated to studies. Thus, when those people become successful in life will help their society to developed more. In conclusion, in my opinion elderly people brings more benefits to the society. Although, they cause some minor issues for the government. These can be ignored because of their lifelong service.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt and provides a clear position, arguing that the benefits of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the strain on government resources and the impact on youth employment, these points are not fully explored. The example regarding the job market in Pakistan is relevant but could be expanded to explain the broader economic implications. The positive aspect regarding the wisdom of the elderly is a good point, but the connection to societal development is a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main point is supported by more detailed analysis or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally repetitive. For example, the frequent use of 'Because of' and 'Take an example of' makes the flow feel a bit rigid. Transitions between sentences could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the pronoun 'them' in the final sentence, which could refer to either the elderly or the issues mentioned previously. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'upheavals' and 'allocate resources'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'people to eat then before' and 'attracting towards bad habits'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your argument. To improve, focus on learning collocations—words that naturally go together—and try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary to express complex ideas more fluently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('elderly people brings', 'young peoples') and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they are frequent enough to keep the score in the 6.0 range. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and pluralization will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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