Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's rapidly evolving world, it is often observed that aged people are living longer than before. Some people believe that senior citizens creates problems for governments whereas, other individuals argue that there are enormous advantages of having elderly people in society.

To begin with, some of the demerits of having elderly people in society are, due to financial problems many households spent there aged members to old age homes because the are unable of afford their medicine prices and living cost. Therefore, governments have to manage billion of aged people living cost and medicine prices, there is lot of financial stress on legal bodies as this is their duty, Another problem that government face these days is related to retirement payment, people who is above the age of 75 usually get this payment of better survival but due to larger population governments are unable to manage this help cost due to which many aged people die rapidly because of unavailability of food and basic needs.

However, advantages of having elderly people in society are, the prominent merit is cultural preservation, aged people have much knowledge about culture and ancestral life, they usually help us to teach these things for better future life. Furthermore, elderly people provide family support because of hectic lifestyle adults do not have much time to take care of children and pets, aged people help in order to keep family bond strong.

In conclusion, i assert that advantages of having senior citizens at home overweigh the disadvantages as elderly people help us to preserve one culture and heritage and also help to strong the family bond.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding retirement payments is vague and lacks specific examples or logical depth. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments are repetitive and rely on generalizations. To improve, you should provide more concrete examples or evidence to support your claims, such as mentioning specific healthcare systems or economic models, and ensure that the discussion of the 'extent' to which advantages outweigh disadvantages is more thoroughly explored.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'To begin with' is followed by a run-on sentence, and the phrase 'Another problem that government face' lacks a proper linking word to connect it smoothly to the previous point. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as the use of 'these things' in the third paragraph, which lacks a specific antecedent. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the flow of your arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'problems', 'things', and 'help'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'spent there aged members' (should be 'sent their elderly relatives') and 'help to strong the family bond' (should be 'strengthen'). While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of sophisticated vocabulary and the presence of collocation errors limit your score. Focus on learning collocations and using more academic synonyms for common words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('senior citizens creates', 'people who is'), incorrect word forms ('unable of afford'), and punctuation errors, such as comma splices. The sentence structure is often repetitive, and the lack of control over basic grammar rules prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed with correct subordinate clauses.

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