Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Unanimously, the phenomena of people are now living longer than ever before is ubiquitous cross the globe due to plethora of merits, However it is agreed that the demerits connected to this topic cannot be ignored . Majority of the individuals supports this and others oppose . In my subsequent paragraphs, the advantages and disadvantages shall be elucidated .

On one hand ,initiating with the pros of the same, the first and foremost key benefit is Experienced workforce and neglected transfer . Elderly people have years of professional and practical experience.

They can mentor younger employees and pass on valuable knowledge.

Example: Retired teachers or engineers can train younger professionals through part-time work or mentoring programmed Stronger family support Older people can help with childcare and household responsibilities. This can allow younger parents to focus more on their careers. To cite an instance Grandparents may look after grandchildren while their parents are at work. Growth of the elderly-care industry An ageing population creates demand for healthcare, nursing, rehabilitation and other services. This can create new jobs and stimulate economic activity. Example: More nursing homes and home-care services may be established to meet the needs of senior citizens.

On the other side, the darker side of the problem includes Greater pressure on government finances Governments need to spend more on pensions, healthcare and social security. This can place a heavy burden on taxpayers and public budgets. To Exemplify, Countries with a large retired population may have to increase healthcare and pension spending.

To Encapsulate neither the pros nor the cons of the topic can be neglected . I honestly believe that there are plenty of advantages rather than disadvantages .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you provide relevant examples, such as the role of grandparents in childcare and the growth of the elderly-care industry, the structure is fragmented. The introduction is somewhat repetitive and lacks a clear, focused thesis statement. Furthermore, the conclusion is very brief and does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your position is consistently maintained and supported throughout the essay rather than just stated at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the internal cohesion is weak. You rely on simple lists and bullet-point-like phrasing rather than fluid, connected prose. For example, the transition between the benefits of an experienced workforce and family support is abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes misused, such as 'Unanimously' at the start, which does not fit the context. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of linking words and cohesive ties between sentences. Improving the use of transition signals like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' would significantly enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'ubiquitous', 'elucidated', and 'rehabilitation'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors. For example, 'neglected transfer' is unclear in the context of workforce experience, and 'the phenomena of people are now living' is grammatically incorrect. Some vocabulary is used in a way that feels slightly unnatural or forced. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations accurately and ensuring that your vocabulary choices contribute to the clarity of your argument rather than obscuring it.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the phenomena... is'), missing articles, and incorrect punctuation. For instance, 'Majority of the individuals supports this' should be 'The majority of individuals support this'. Additionally, the use of capitalization is inconsistent, and some sentences are fragmented. While you attempt complex structures, the lack of control over basic grammar rules limits the score. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors would be highly beneficial.

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