Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some countries , People are living longer than ever before. Some people says that older people create problems for government. on the other side some people belive that that are benefit for society as old citizens.

In recent decades, improvements in healthcare and nutrition have enabled people worldwide to live significantly longer lives. Although an aging population introduces noticeable financial and social benefits, I believe the disadvantages, such as rising public costs and labor shortages, present far greater challenges for modern societies.

On the one hand, a higher proportion of elderly citizens brings distinct advantages to families and communities. First, many retirees assist their adult children by taking care of grandchildren. This free support allows younger parents, especially mothers, to stay in the workforce and maintain their careers. Second, older adults often have wealth saved over a lifetime, which they spend on travel, local businesses, and specialized services. This spending supports a growing market known as the "silver economy." Finally, seniors frequently contribute to society through unpaid volunteer work and by sharing their professional experience with younger generations.

On the other hand, the drawbacks of an aging demographic can severely strain a nation's resources. The most critical issue is the heavy burden placed on public health systems. As people age, they require more frequent medical interventions and long-term care, which costs governments huge sums of money. In addition, having fewer working-age citizens means that state tax revenues decrease while pension payments increase, creating a serious financial deficit. Finally, a shrinking workforce can lead to severe shortages in vital industries, which ultimately slows down national economic growth and productivity.

In conclusion, mostly people take care responsibility to there hand take live a child then, people live presently longer then older periods time. On the other hand governments provide extra better dr.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The introduction and body paragraphs are well-structured, with relevant arguments for both sides. However, the conclusion is problematic; it is incoherent and fails to summarize the main points effectively, instead introducing irrelevant and confusing information. While the body paragraphs are well-developed, the failure to provide a coherent summary at the end prevents this from reaching a higher band. The position is clear throughout the main body, but the final paragraph detracts from the overall task response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'In addition', and 'Finally' are used effectively to guide the reader through the arguments. However, the referencing and flow break down significantly in the final paragraph. The concluding sentences are disjointed and lack logical progression, making the end of the essay difficult to follow. Despite this, the overall arrangement of the main body is coherent and demonstrates a good use of paragraphing and linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task. You use appropriate terms such as 'silver economy', 'labor shortages', and 'medical interventions'. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is generally successful. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, particularly in the introduction and conclusion (e.g., 'some people says', 'extra better dr.'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise word choice and better control over collocations to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You demonstrate control over complex sentences, such as 'Although an aging population introduces noticeable financial and social benefits, I believe the disadvantages... present far greater challenges'. However, there are recurring grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('some people says') and awkward phrasing in the final paragraph ('mostly people take care responsibility to there hand'). While the majority of the essay is clear, these errors are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Punctuation is generally accurate, but the grammatical control weakens significantly toward the end.

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