Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before . This is because we do a exceptional progress in the medical field like surgery , gynecology , cardiology , neurology and dermatology . And people get enough to eat and good opportunity for jobs to make money . And in the field of transport we also do the remarkable progress and the places where going to take months and year are now covered in hours because of airplanes . And we can contact a person that is in other continent with the help of phone . And in the past the only way to contact a person is horses which also takes days and even weeks .

That is why the average life expectancy of a person in 1950 is 30 years . Which is now up to 72 years according to world average .

Firstly, some people says an aging population creates problems for the government . That is true to some extent because our state have to pay billion of dollars to people after retirement . And these people do not even work for the pension they get . And these people do not contribute to the economy after getting retirement .

Secondly, other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people . Because they have experienced all aspects of life and their advices would be very beneficial for younger generation .

But in my opinion, the advantages of having aging population outweigh the disadvantages . Because they serve their whole youth serving government and after getting retirement it is the state responsibility to serve them .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth. The first two paragraphs focus on medical and technological advancements, which are irrelevant to the specific question about the aging population. The actual discussion of the advantages and disadvantages is brief and under-developed. While you state your position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the supporting arguments are superficial. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly relates to the prompt and provides specific, well-reasoned examples rather than general statements. The essay would benefit from a more balanced exploration of the economic and social impacts of an aging society.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition from the introduction (which discusses general progress) to the body paragraphs is abrupt. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly', but the flow between ideas is often mechanical. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly supports your main argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms and struggle with collocations, such as 'do a exceptional progress' (should be 'make exceptional progress') and 'getting retirement' (should be 'retiring'). There is a lack of academic vocabulary related to the topic of demographics or economics. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise, topic-specific vocabulary and avoid repeating simple phrases. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated synonyms and idiomatic expressions will significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('some people says'), article usage ('the medical field'), and tense inconsistencies ('the only way to contact a person is horses'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically verb tenses and pluralization. Incorporating more complex structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, would also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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